Sometimes Even Sheep Are a Little Behind the Flock

In the interests of providing a little light-hearted diversion from this column’s all-too-severe nature of late, I hereby present a piece of utter triviality. Read and enjoy.

This morning, on my otherwise mind-numbing daily commute, I was smacked full in the face with a bit of the best-forgotten cheese of pop-culture history: I actually saw a car with a “Baby on Board” sign in the rear window. My initial twinge of remembrance was quickly tempered with the realization that some poor fool is frantically clinging to mid-’80s nostalgia. Hello! Nobody paid attention to the damn things when they were actually meant to inform drivers about your precious little cargo; they’re sure as hell not doing so now. No, it’s not “retro” — it’s desperate.

Thankfully, we also appear to be moving past the more recent (but equally asinine) obsession with those fake international travel decals folks have been plastering all over their vehicles. News flash: If you’ve got one of those little ovoid stickers with anything other than an actual foreign nation abbreviation on it (“OBX,” to cite this region’s most ubiquitous instance, or any of the “geekspeak” versions), you’re an idiot. I hate to break it to you, but the same assessment applies to those with brightly-colored versions of the normally monochromatic decals as well (and if you’ve never actually been in the country in question, you’re in a whole different category of crassitude). No, I’m not sorry if that offends any of my readership — if you’re one of those benighted souls, somebody needs to point it out to you before it’s too late. Yes, I understand the argument that it’s all a societal retaliation against the implicit elitism conveyed by the international stickers. It’s still moronic.

That’s all. We now return you to your regularly scheduled gravitas.

“Classic” reader comments:

Dan · Thu, Mar 27th 2003, at 4:32PM

Pity, I was going to get one that read “STN” spelled out in little teensy pitchforks.


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