I’m Back... Well, Sort Of

In reality, yes, I’m back from Florida. Practically speaking, though, I’m completely buried in work right now, so I don’t have time to write. Well, that and the fact that today is my tenth wedding anniversary...

Pam, words can’t begin to express how much our time together has meant to me. You give me love, you give me life, you give me balance, you give me hope. I will keep you with me for the rest of my life, and can only hope that I can live up to a fraction of all that you’ve done for me.

Okay, on a less personal note, I will take a moment to mention two things, though: One, I’ve added links to a few of my own iMix playlists along the left there, at least for the time being — give ’em a look-see. And two, it’s just one week until the 48-Hour Film Project! So if anyone else wants in, speak up now — this is your last call.

I’ll be back once I get my head above water, so sit tight.

Really, I’m Leaving, I Swear...

I just had to say something. There’s a reason I stopped listening to WTOP for anything other than traffic and weather. This morning, I’m listening to their news for a change, and they were running a story on the Supreme Court’s hearing of the ability of Gitmo prisoners to access the U.S. courts to assert their rights as prisoners of war. Now, I’ll be the first to admit that this particular case is a sticky one, even if the general issue — the Bush regime is in clear violation of the Geneva Convention and has established the U.S. as an outlaw state — is pretty damned cut-and-dried.

But to explain the case that the judiciary should not enter into the administration of the “war on terrorism,” they cite some yahoo from The American Center for Law and Justice. Just as if it’s a legitimate legal think tank. Hello! The American Center for Law and Justice is nothing of the sort — it’s Pat Robertson’s little puppet organization! Okay, I can understand including a quote from them — with proper explanation as to the group’s purpose — if this were some religious or other issue in which Robertson had a stake, but to pretend that it’s a respected organization that has anything to do with either law or justice is poor reporting at best, flagrant right-wing partisanship at worst.

Hey, NPR may spend an inordinate amount of time on the “human interest” stories at a time when I’m just more interested in national news, but at least they don’t deliberately mislead their listeners. Back to WAMU...

Okay, One More Thing...

Looks like Duh-bya is acting all buddy-buddy with the Saudis again. I can’t wait to see the regime’s response to the allegations that the Saudis agreed to lower oil prices right around election time to make little George look good.

Nothing like foreign powers interfering in our electoral process, eh?

Going Off the Grid

Well, folks, barring the possibility of a last-minute posting, I’ll be popping off-line for the next week and a half. Disney World beckons, and I’ll be taking advantage of my absence to send Murphy off to have its combo drive fixed (alas, Murphy predates the SuperDrive). Which means I’ll be completely incommunicado.

Well, not entirely, as I’ll still have my cell phone, but I don’t plan to hit the ’net until my return — no posts from the road this time. If you’re really desperate to keep reading Prometheus Unleashed, take a journey through the archives — there’s some stuff in there that’s still just as relevant today. Otherwise, just assume I’m having fun with the family (and keep working on that puzzle).

See you all post-Mickey!

“Tear Down That Wall”

With all the talk about removing the “wall” between domestic and international intelligence systems, it seems to me that people are forgetting that the wall is there for a reason. Namely, to protect the civil rights of American citizens, to prevent the “suspension” of Constitutional protections in the name of “national security.” So the CIA, for example, is prohibited from using its extralegal surveillance methods to spy on us. Yes, such methods are often necessary in the world of international espionage (though that makes it sound more mysterious than reality would indicate), but as Americans, we are guaranteed certain protections from unreasonable searches and seizures. And it’s not like this is merely a theoretical possibility — it’s happened — that’s why the “wall” was established in the first place.

Now, have administrators gone overboard in preventing otherwise reasonable — and in most cases permissible — intelligence sharing out of fear of breaching the wall? Sure — Ashcroft being a prime example. But just as refusing any sharing of intelligence may be going too far in one direction, the de facto merger of the FBI and CIA sure sounds like overkill in the other. Am I exaggerating? God, I certainly hope so. But we cannot forget that there are certain liberties that can all too easily be trampled in our rush to “protect” ourselves.

Now, You Too Can Join in the Fun!

First of all, Quentin Tarantino on American Idol? WTF? Well, at least he stayed brutally honest without being overtly vicious (then again, if his backhanded compliments didn’t fool me, they probably didn’t fool the contestants either).

Richard Cohen’s got an interesting (and potentially controversial) column today. He comments on little George’s new “crusade” to, as Duh-bya puts it, “change the world”:

“... it explains, as nothing else can, just why Bush is so adamantly steadfast about Iraq and why he simply asserts what is not proved or just plain untrue — the purported connection between Saddam Hussein and al Qaeda, for instance, or why Hussein was such a threat, when we have it on the word of David Kay and countless weapons inspectors that he manifestly was not. Bush talks as if only an atheist would demand proof when faith alone more than suffices. He is America’s own ayatollah.”

And finally, I’m toying with the idea of opening up Prometheus Unleashed to more than just my ramblings, in effect making it the official mouthpiece of the Promethean Cabal of the POEE — which may, in turn, allow the latter to develop into something more than just an abstract idea. Not that I’m planning to stop my own personal commentary, but I thought it might be nice to have the occasional contribution from one of our regular readers. I don’t expect that contributors will necessarily agree with me on everything — in fact, I would expect quite a bit of disagreement in some cases — but I will lay down a few ground rules. First of all, I expect folks to be civil — if not to the outside world, then at least to each other. Second, I don’t want to see a bunch of rebuttal entries — commentary on specific entries should be limited to the comments section. And third, as Editor, I reserve the right to edit, delete, or modify entries at will; in fact, as anal-retentive as I am, I can pretty much guarantee it. As for other rules, I’ll make them up as I go along.

Of course, there may be nobody out there who’s interested in piling on, in which case this will remain exactly as it is, and I’m fine with that. But if you’d like to join in (and membership does not imply a requirement to participate), then hit the little button on the left there and let me know (be sure to send along whatever bio information you’d like to include in your author writeup). There may end up being other benefits to membership, but I haven’t thought of any just yet (though I am open to suggestions).

A Personal Message

Happy birthday to my honey bun, my doughnut, my cutie pie, my littlest angel. I love you all the way to the moon... and back.

Another Puzzling Day

Swamped at the office, so no time to write anything deep today (well, other than the fact that I’m seriously pissed that Duh-bya’s “No Regrets, No Mistakes, No Responsibility, No Lessons Learned” show preempted 24 last night). But I did want to offer a heartfelt congratulations to Lisa K for solving last week’s “Promethean Cryptoquip”:

“No, I don’t know that Atheists should be considered as citizens, nor should they be considered patriots. This is one nation under God.” — George H.W. Bush

It’s a quote I ran across while bopping around the ’net aimlessly, and thought it worthy of notation. Now, let me be clear — we’re talking about George H.W. Bush, not little Shrub (most citations say simply “George Bush,” making it potentially ambiguous). The religious beliefs of children can deviate substantially from those of their parents — I’m living proof of that. But I think his record has proven that the son’s likely to agree with his father’s sentiments in this case.

As I’ve often said, I consider myself a “devout agnostic” rather than a true atheist — I find the whole religion debate logically meaningless, and afford it no consideration whatsoever; by its nature, religion can neither be proven nor disproven, and I would therefore be entering into a logical fallacy were I to assert that there is no god. I’ve never seen anything to lead me to believe that there is a god, but that doesn’t prove one doesn’t exist. Believe what you like — you’ll get no argument from me. Until you start forcing your beliefs on me. By, say, mandating a “pledge of allegiance” to your god, for example.

So how about another one? I’m really not trying to start a recurring theme in the ’quips here, but this one does bear a resemblance to the last in general subject area — depending on your interpretation, of course. That’s all I’ll give you by way of a hint. Stick your answers in the comments on this entry, and good luck!

“KOXEX HV RG VTQUXEW YZK HIRGEQRAX. THYXEKW HV KOX AOHTJ GN HRKXTTHIXRAX.” — EGYXEK I. HRIXEVGTT

Screw the First Amendment — I Don’t Like What You’re Saying

“The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachments by men of zeal, well-meaning but without understanding.” — U.S. Supreme Court Justice Louis Brandeis, 1928

“There ought to be limits to freedom.” —  George W. Bush, 1999

They’re back: The 2004 Jefferson Muzzle Awards! For those of you unfamiliar with the “awards,” they’re sponsored by The Thomas Jefferson Center for the Protection of Free Expression, and awarded to those individuals or groups that do the most to stifle free expression in the United States. Featured prominently on last year’s list — to nobody’s real surprise — was John Ashcroft, and past recipients have included Donald Rumsfeld, the 106th U.S. Congress, the Duh-bya Presidential Campaign, Rudolph Giuliani (a winner three years in a row, not to mention receiving a Lifetime Muzzle award), Kenneth Starr, U.S. Representative Robert L. Barr, and — just so I don’t appear too overtly partisan — the Clinton Administration (can everyone say, “Don’t ask, don’t tell”?).

If ever an effort were deserving of increased awareness, it is the Jefferson Muzzle program. And while I may not be able to do much more than mention it here, I would encourage everyone reading not only to take a look at this year’s awards (and explanations), but to do whatever they can to spread the word — though I’ll stop short of saying “forward this to everyone you know.”

So, without further ado, this year’s recipients are:

1. Judge Miriam Goldman Cedarbaum
2. The U.S. Department of Defense
3. The United States Secret Service
4. The Albemarle County (Virginia) School Board
5. Baseball Hall of Fame President Dale Petroskey
6. CBS Television
7. The University of New Orleans Administration
8. The Administration of Dearborn High School (Michigan)
9. The South Carolina House of Representatives
10. The Parks and Recreation Division of Broward County (Florida)
11. Jeff Webster of Soldotna, Alaska, and the Unnamed Arsonist of Harrisonburg, Virginia
12. The Arizona State License Commission
13. The Pilot Point (Texas) Police Department

No “Silver Bullet” to Get Rid of Bush

As widely predicted, Condoleeza Rice’s testimony didn’t do much to change public opinion one way of the other. Some on the far left had been salivating at the thought of her testifying, but let’s be honest — if there were the slightest chance that her appearance would reflect badly on the regime, they wouldn’t have allowed her to testify. Hell, look at Bush — he knows he’d come off looking ridiculous if he testified, so he’s limited his assistance to a not-under-oath, behind-closed-doors session. So he can lie and not be held legally accountable for it. More than that, he’s insisting that Tricky Dick Cheney be sitting right next to him — after all, it’s kind of hard to manipulate a puppet without your hand firmly up its ass.

I’m perfectly happy that people are starting to realize what a bunch of incompetent buffoons this regime comprises. And it would appear Rice did lie outright about informing the individual FBI field offices to prepare for terrorist action (though it’ll take a lot more investigation to prove it). Is it likely that the September 11th attacks could have been prevented had Duh-bya acted differently? Maybe, maybe not. But we’re not going to get some clear-cut answer that tells us so — it’s not nearly so black-and-white. It’s all about interpretation and spin. If there’s one thing these goons are good at, it’s spin — in other words, lying, but lying in such a way that you actually fool most people.

Yesterday, the big outcry was that the administration had to declassify the infamous President’s Daily Brief of August 6, 2001 (delivered when — surprise, surprise — Shrub was on vacation at his ranch). And with a title like “Bin Laden Determined to Attack Inside the United States,” it certainly seems like a prime candidate for the “silver bullet” that would take care of Bush once and for all. But guess what — it now looks like they are looking to declassify it. And, of course, the very fact that they’re considering it means... yep, there’s nothing in there that can incriminate the “president.” Little George may be an idiot, but his puppetmasters sure aren’t.

And you know what? Even if there were anything incriminating, it’d probably be better to release it and “spin” it that to continue the cover-up. Frankly, that’d be their best course of action. Then again, given their obsession with secrecy for secrecy’s sake, they can’t always be trusted to work in even their own best interests (and we know they can’t act in ours). With that in mind, I wouldn’t be surprised if they decide to release only a portion of the Brief — which is functionally the same thing as releasing nothing at all.

One can only hope they stay true to form. It’s probably the best thing for us all.

Just a Quick Check-In

Nothing big today — too busy trying to finish a couple of scripts for upcoming video projects before I head off on vacation later this month. And yes, that means you’ll have to do without updates here for the last week of April — somehow, I think everyone will live. In any case, I just wanted to call your attention to a new show (found courtesy of Kallipugos): Right-Wing Eye. Made me laugh.

In a less lighthearted vein, does anyone else find it really scary that Antonin Scalia is ordering reporters to erase their tapes of a recent speech he gave on the Constitution — tapes which were made legally? Um... you might want to re-read that there Constitution, buddy...

Promethean “Cryptoquips”

OM, T QMO’X ROMN XAEX EXALTYXY YAMVWQ FL SMOYTQLILQ EY STXTBLOY, OMI YAMVWQ XALC FL SMOYTQLILQ DEXITMXY. XATY TY MOL OEXTMO VOQLI ZMQ. — ZLMIZL A.N. FVYA

I was just reading about the infamous Beale cipher, and it got me in the mood to play a little game. I don’t know if my short attention span will allow me to continue this, but I thought it might be fun. I’ll take a famous (or, more likely, not so famous) quotation and encode it into a simple substitution cipher. Whoever figures it out — putting your answer in the comments section — wins... well, nothing. I’m optimistic that this distinct lack of incentive will not be too much of a deterrent. And remember, we’re working under the honor system, here — no using (or writing) a program to solve it for you.

Today’s puzzle theme: Tolerance. Good luck!

Yes, I’m an Idiot

Important lesson: Never compose a blog entry before you’ve had your morning coffee. Or after driving in a car smelling of child vomit (long story — all clean now).

As Tom so rightly pointed out in his comment on my entry below, depending on how you measure speed, it is perfectly possible to have increases of greater than 100 percent. If speed is measured in the time necessary to complete a discrete task — as I did in my example — then no. But if you measure speed as the number of discrete tasks that can be performed within a specific time frame — in other words, a tasks-per-time rate rather than a time-per-task rate — then yes. You’d think that since I heard this commercial while driving in my car, I’d have thought of the obvious comparison: Vehicle speeds as measured in miles per hour (or kilometers per hour for all of you folks from... well, anywhere else in the world). Sometime, I really should get out of my little theoretical world and enter the practical one.

So please forgive my momentary lapse in common sense, and read somebody who actually thought before writing. Like E.J. Dionne, who today impresses upon us the importance of retaining “intellectual solidarity” in personal religious faith (as opposed to mere tolerance of different faiths for pragmatic purposes). Or Richard Cohen, who expresses astonishment that the Bush regime isn’t being held accountable for errors in judgment that — in any other industry or political entity — would be grounds for at least an admission of error, if not outright removal.

Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics Redux

Attention: Please ignore this entry. I was feeling a little light-headed when I wrote it. Or maybe a little soft-headed — you be the judge

You know, I guess it’s not limited to the right-wing apologists. People all over the place are either deliberately deceptive or complete idiots. This morning, I heard an ad for a new Sharp copier, in which the spokesman claimed that this particular copier was 115 percent faster than any other copier in its class.

Hello, dumbshit! Unless the thing is actually going backward in time, that’s physically impossible! Percentage differences from a baseline figure are based on that baseline figure, not on some arbitrary number you seem to be pulling out of your ass. So, for example, if the old copier takes twenty seconds to make a copy, and yours takes fifteen seconds, yours is 25 percent faster. If yours takes ten seconds, it’s 50 percent faster. And so on. In other words, by your calculations, and on this hypothetical scale, your copier makes copes in negative three seconds.

Now, maybe you meant to say that your copier is 115 percent as fast as the “other” copier. Which would mean that yours actually takes longer to produce a copy — 23 seconds in our little demonstration. But somehow I doubt that’s your selling point. On the other hand, what’s more likely is that your copier is a mere 15 percent faster, and some marketing genius figured it sounded better to stick a “100” in front of it. Or perhaps the other copers are 115 percent as fast as your copier — making yours 87 percent as fast (or 13 percent faster). Here, maybe the marketing weasels figured that the “115 percent” number sounded better in the focus groups, so you decided to attach that figure to your copier instead. Still, I think most likely of all is that these business-school “idea men” just can’t do basic math.

Americans have a reputation for being both ignorant and greedy. And with ads like this, I don’t think we’re doing a whole hell of a lot to dispel that perception.

All in the Family

My brothers and I have all pursued different career paths. For example, my youngest brother is a Deputy Public Defender down in Norfolk. But lest there be any doubt that we are, fundamentally, cut from the same cloth, I present tonight’s telephone conversation. His not-yet-two-year-old daughter (my niece, for those of you keeping score) was on the phone, and he was demonstrating some of the things he’d taught her.

“What does the pig say?”

“Oink!”

“What does the cow say?”

“Moo!”

“What does the lion say?”

“Roar!”

“What does Leo Getz say?”

“Okay, okay, okay!”

It’s good to see he’s teaching her the really important things.

(By way of comparison, though I held off until closer to their third birthdays, both of my girls do know that Dante says, “I’m not even supposed to be here today,” Randall says, “No time for love, Dr. Jones,” Jay says, “Snootchie Bootchies,” and Silent Bob doesn’t say anything. And Die Hard is a Christmas movie.)

Look, on the Web! It’s a Bird, It’s a Plane...

Thanks to Lisa over at the Capital City Desk for calling this to my attention, but American Express has just started running a new series of on-line commercials: The Adventures of Seinfeld & Superman. Directed by Barry Levinson, the ads feature longtime AmEx spokesman Jerry Seinfeld and the multitalented Patrick Warburton reprising his role from the television commercials as the voice of (the animated) Superman. The first one is up in full, the second one has a teaser available, and there’s also a “Behind-the-Scenes” video.

Which, frankly, I found the best part. ’Cause what are they shooting the ads with?

Yep, a Canon XL1s. My camera.

Oh, sure, they’ve got a fancy-schmancy lens attached to it, but the basic camera? The same one I use right here. Pretty damn cool, if you ask me.

Well, Maybe Next Year

Well, so much for trying something less malicious for April Fool’s than last year. After all, folks didn’t react too well to that one — do a Google search for Bill Coughlan and take a look at the first result. From the look of things this time around, a few folks were caught off guard for a moment, but not too many people came away believing the NS-5 actually existed. (Oh, and incidentally, the comments — or at least the first three of them — are fake as well.)

Yes, it’s all a promo site for the new Will Smith movie I, Robot, loosely (very loosely) based on the classic Isaac Asimov short story collection. The movie’s getting mixed buzz, but I am looking forward to seeing it. Still, it’s a little off-putting that the movie’s central character doesn’t exist in the original stories. Neither does the picture’s basic plot: The investigation of a murder apparently committed by a robot — which would be in direct contradiction of the inviolable three laws of robotics.

Still, the movie appears to be at least keeping with the underlying theme of the original stories — if we accept the three laws as a given, how could events occur which would appear to be violating them, but would actually be fully in keeping with them.

Happy April Fool’s Day, dear readers. I hope you had at least a moment of fun.

Your Plastic Pal Who’s Fun To Be With

I’ve been following the development of humanoid robots for some time now — the girls are big fans of Asimo — but to date they haven’t quite been ready to roll out to the masses. While people like those at Honda (or Sony, or Toyota) have made phenomenal advances with the body, the brains — arguably the most significant part of a true robot — have been developed by any number of folks (mostly in the realm of academia), with radically different (and usually incompatible) approaches. Not to mention that, as it stands, the per-unit cost is way beyond the scope of my wallet.

But, on July 16th of this year, that’s all going to change. Say hello to the NS-5. A new company, Chicago-based U.S. Robot and Mechanical Men (a.k.a. “3 Laws Safe,” which strikes me as an amusing little homage), has combined the existing (though improved) robot “body” with a self-contained “brain.” I think one of the coolest things is that it’s connected to the ’net — wirelessly — 24/7; and no, it’s not Windows-based. It uses the Teresa 2.1.2 OS, and system upgrades are done automatically, for the life of the product. You can see their new commercial here — very Apple-esque.

Sure, the NS-5 will — for now — be a toy for the rich (think “Segway”), but the company predicts that within the next few decades, the Nestor series will become more affordable for everyday people. They’re already taking preorders — but for those of us who aren’t quite ready to take out a second mortgage, you can customize your own NS-5 (at least cosmetically) without having to complete the actual purchase. Check it out — and get ready to start seeing these things on the streets near you!

Well, I suppose that depends on what neighborhood you hang out in.