Tohubohu Rides Again

Well, it’s official: Tohubohu is entered into the National Film Challenge. So now, like it or not — seeing as how I just shelled out a C-note — we’re making a movie, dammit.

So if you think you’ve got anything to offer, give me a shout-out! Things are going to be a bit more organized than last time around, so the sooner we’ve got our cast and crew set, the smoother things will go. Especially since we’re already talking about pushing the envelope a bit...

Still Buried, but Damn!

The XL2 is here. I don’t know how I missed this.

And while it’s not HD, it’s still one kick-ass camera.

Anyone got about five grand they’re looking to give away? Or hell, I’d settle for borrowing one for this fall’s National Film Challenge.

Oh, did I mention that Tohubohu will be participating in this year’s competition? Well, we are.

So if anyone out there wants in, speak now...

Busy, Busy

Sorry I haven’t written much this week — I’ve been swamped. I’ve got a lot “in queue,” though, so sit tight. I’ll be back.

Why Does It Have to Be One or the Other?

Yesterday’s anniversary of Elvis’s death got me thinking.

In a scene cut from the final version of Pulp Fiction, Mia Wallace (Uma Thurman) opines that one can either be a Beatles person or an Elvis person, but not both equally. Beatles people can like Elvis, and Elvis people can like the Beatles, but at some point in your life, you’re going to have to sit down and decide which you are.

Most of my life I would have said I’m a Beatles person who likes Elvis. But lately, I’m not so sure — no doubt fueled in part by his recent surge in popularity, I’ve found myself leaning more in the Elvis direction. But in the end, I’m not sure that it is such a good idea to arbitrarily designate myself as belonging to either camp. A few years ago, I could have joked along with the idea, but now, the very concept of polarization is showing itself to have fairly negative results. Red versus Blue. Multilateralist versus Unilateralist. Republican versus Democrat.

In comparison, Beatles versus Elvis doesn’t seem like that big a deal. But I think I’m going to take a step back and refuse to participate in the designation altogether. Just doing my part toward encouraging people to think for themselves rather than being forced into a prefabricated slot.

Remind Me Next Time I Offer to Do Something...

Just now finished mastering this disc. I’m writing this on my laptop as my desktop machine finishes burning the test DVD.

And as soon as that puppy’s done, I’m going home to bed. I’ll watch the thing tomorrow.

Though I’ll confess, even as tired as I am, part of me can’t wait to see some of these — even though I’ve already seen several of them at the original screenings. For those of you thinking of coming Wednesday night, there are some really good ones here...

Ah, disc’s done. Good night, folks!

Woo-Hoo! Saturday Night at the Office!

Damn, this is harder than I’d figured. Mastering a single disc from multiple, differently formatted sources is more problematic than I’d imagined. I guess I’ve gotten spoiled by working with high-quality material all the time. You’d think the lower-quality stuff (say, PCM audio as opposed to AC3 audio, my current bugaboo) would be simpler, but nooooooo.

I’m getting hungry, but I know if I leave and go get something to eat (assuming anything’s even open around here at this time of night), I won’t be coming back. So I can either tough it out and get at least a test disc burned tonight, or trudge back into the city tomorrow.

Decisions, decisions...

The Return of Schlimmer

Just wanted to let folks in the D.C. area (or any of you willing to travel) know that we’ll be having another screening of Schlimmer this Wednesday evening — two, in fact.

We — along with several other local entrants in this year’s 48-Hour Film Project — will be screening in the back room at Aroma in Cleveland Park. The screenings are at 7:00 and 9:00, and while space is limited, I’d certainly like to see as many friendly faces in the audience as possible. Besides, since I’m the one mastering the DVD for the screening (something I’m working on right now), I figure I’m pretty much guaranteed a seat, right?

I hope to see some of you there! I don’t know if we’ll be having any director/cast/crew Q&A after (or between) screenings, but you bring the “Q,” and I’ll do my best to provide the “A.”

Movie Night: SubZero

Okay, I don’t know if I should really consider SubZero a “movie” for my “Movie Night” purposes. After all, this was a direct-to-video release, a glorified extension of the Batman animated series (and not even meriting the theatrical release of Mask of the Phantasm). Still, HBO thought enough of it to put it on as a “Feature Presentation,” so I’ll just accept it and move on.

Is it a great movie? No. The animation is television-quality at best, clearly farmed out to the cartoon factories in Asia. The pacing is slow, evidence of poor directorial control. The scale is television-level, not movie-level — a fairly damning indictment for an animated picture, in which one doesn’t have to construct sets or hire extras. And the script could have used quite a bit of punching up — there’s no character development (at least not among the ostensible principals) to speak of; it’s all plot. And at a running time of barely more than an hour, it’s fairly clear that we had some room to work with.

On the other hand, it still kicks the hell out of Batman and Robin, the other “Mister Freeze” movie to come out of the folks at Warner Brothers. While this version certainly has shortcomings, it is so pathetically easy to see how with just a little work — about the same amount that’s done with any big-budget Hollywood feature — this could have revived rather than nearly killed the Batman franchise. As an early-draft script, this had everything the other did not. A credible plot, understandable character motivations, and even action scenes that didn’t depend on checking your brain at the door.

So did I enjoy this tale? Yeah, but not wholeheartedly. I couldn’t help but see where it could have been done better. Maybe that’s just because I’m bitter that they didn’t do better in the live-action arena. Not that Joel Schumacher’s devoid of talent — I really enjoyed Phone Booth, for example — but his sensibility was totally wrong for Batman (I can’t wait to see what Memento director Christopher Nolan can come up with in his version).

Now, Schumacher’s upcoming interpretation of Phantom of the Opera? That I can see working...

Swift Boat Veterans for Slander

This editorial from today’s Post says it better than I ever could, so for the most part, I’ll let you go read it. Then just imagine me saying, “Yeah, me too!”

The people behind this ad and the associated book — or, more speficially, the person, Bob J. Perry, Duh-bya’s top Texas fundraiser — is scum. And that’s an assessment I’ll extend to those soldiers who knowingly made such outrageously false statements: “I served with John Kerry” can hardly be stretched to mean the same thing as the true “I served in Vietnam at the same time as John Kerry, but never actually knew him, met him, or had any contact with him before you guys asked if I’d appear in this commercial.” Oh, and the same goes for the doctor who claims to have treated one of Kerry’s injuries, but whose name is mysteriously missing from any of the documentation related to such treatment; speaking of which (thanks to The Daily Show), isn’t it a little odd that despite all of the horrific injuries this guy must have seen, for some reason he remembers this allegedly minor injury to some inconsequential officer? My ass.

That’s not to say that all of those who appear in the commercial or are quoted in the book are equally guilty. Kerry’s commanding officer has completely retracted his statements (at least with regard to Kerry’s Silver Star award). I’m not saying it lets him off the hook completely, but it does lessen his scum status a bit, at least in my eyes.

As for the ad and the book themselves? Slander and libel respectively. Not just “smears” — that’s all too tame a euphemism. And if it weren’t likely to be politically disadvantageous to do so, I’d recommend that John Kerry pursue every legal action against these perpetrators. Hell, wait until after the election, and then crush these dirtbags.

So where does little George stand on all of this? Hell, he’s all in favor of it. When asked to condemn the ad — by John McCain, no less — Bush (via his spokespuppet, Scott McClellan) refused, instead using it as an opportunity to make a direct criticism of “soft-money contributions.” And just in case anyone missed it, that attack was also none-too-subtlely directed at McCain himself, as it was the McCain-sponsored campaign finance legislation (which Bush signed, don’t forget) that brought about such tactics. But he said nothing even remotely critical of the ad or its content.

It amazes me that anybody with a brain can support this idiot. I honestly cannot understand it. Maybe the American people really are dumber than I give them credit for.

Why My New PDA Is Just an Interim Solution

You know, I just don’t feel up to starting another war.

I did finally get a response from Palm (or “PalmOne,” as their hardware division is calling itself now) that came close to actually answering my question, and I just don’t feel like fighting anymore. No, they didn’t answer my questions about repair costs for a screen replacement, but they did at least let me know that yeah, I’d have to call in a service order, and yeah, I’d have to have it replaced, and no, there wasn’t going to be any discount for turning in the old unit. So I can spend an unknown amount on having the screen replaced (but at an absolute minimum, $25 for the — long-distance, incidentally — call even if I don’t decide to repair it), to get back a unit that’s already “obsolete.” No, I know it’s not really obsolete, but I find it tough to invest fully half the cost of the unit into a single repair, an amount I would be unlikely to recoup on resale.

So I bit the bullet and wend ahead and picked up a Tungsten T3. It’s certainly an improvement over its predecessor (if a tad bulkier), and though actually restoring my information to it is proving problematic, at least I’ve got most of my schedule, contacts and the like back on hand. Graffiti 2 is taking a bit of getting used to, but thankfully it still recognizes most of the letter-writing patterns of the original Graffiti. All in all, I’m starting to get back on track.

Frankly, the main (mental) obstacle keeping me from just buying a new unit was the thought that one of these days, Apple has got to be coming out with a device of their own. There’s been scads of talk about the prospect in general, going back several years now, but to date, Apple has steadfastly refused to enter the arena — despite having pioneered the concept back with the original Newton. There’s a pretty good article and discussion over at Mike Davidson’s site (thanks to Geoff for the link) on the prospects of Apple venturing into the phone arena. But for me, an Apple-branded phone isn’t enough: I want a phone/iPod/PDA combination — a single unit. I’m sick of carrying around three different devices, when it’s certainly technologically feasible to combine them into one.

There’s a school of thought that holds that the iPod was so successful because of its simplicity: It only did one thing, and it did it well. And therefore, any kind of “all-inclusive” device would flop because of its inherent complexity. Add to that the fact that the markets for the devices are different (the younger crowd that makes up the core market for iPods versus the more business-oriented PDA users), and you’ve got a surefire disaster. While all of that may be true to a degree, I do not believe that it’s wholly accurate. First, as to the “simplicity” issue, anyone who’s seen a newer PDA can attest to the fact that the devices do their utmost to keep input and control as simple as possible — hell, the T3’s controller even looks like the iPod’s scroll wheel. There are more complex devices out there (anything from Blackberry, for instance), but they’re not the norm in the PDA market.

Second, I’ll concur that the markets for iPods, mobile phones and PDAs are different sets of people — though they certainly intersect in the “phone” area, which is why you see PDA/phone combos like the Treo, and now phone/iPod combos (or something closely approaching them) like those just announced. Still, I will concede that the set of consumers who want all three is likely substantially smaller than either the markets for the individual devices or the dual-use crossovers. So while I would kill for a three-in-one device, Apple has most likely decided that — from a strict business standpoint — the costs involved in developing such a device would be unlikely to be recouped. Particularly when you figure that the phone market is pretty well filled, and there’s already an existing market leader on the PDA side (and even they’re not doing so well).

Apple doesn’t want to come into an existing market as just one out of a slew of other competitors. Remember, Apple dominates the (legal) digital music market with the iPod and the iTunes Music Store. Hence the whole battle with RealNetworks over their “hack” of the iPod. No, Apple doesn’t make money from the iTMS — it’s just a vehicle to push sales of iPods. At first blush, it would appear that Apple would benefit from the iPod’s ability to play music from other sources. In the end, though, that ability actually undermines iPod sales. Right now, the iPod is the only way to play iTMS-downloaded songs. But if other services — services which can but do not have to use the iPod — start coming into being, not only does Apple lose out on licensing fees, but the viability of the iTMS (or, more accurately, its market dominance) is seriously threatened. No iTMS superiority, no iPod superiority. Is it a little bit Microsoft-esque? Yeah, probably, which is why I’d recommend they work out some sort of arrangement or risk some serious consumer backlash. But in the short term, Apple’s probably not likely to just give up without a serious fight.

So what would induce Apple to enter that device-crossover market? Simple: A new market altogether. Apple doesn’t just want to respond to consumer demand, they want to drive it. Before the Newton, people weren’t clamoring for a digital organizer. Before the iPod, portable music players were a novelty, not a necessity. But now, we’ve become comfortable with both of those. If they’re to throw their hat into the ring, it’ll be with something nobody else is doing. Otherwise, no matter how good their device is, they’ll be playing catch-up.

But in order for this to work, the world has got to be ready; the circumstances have to be right for Apple to step in and offer us something we haven’t needed before, but suddenly can’t live without. And for the most part, that’s out of their control. But the threshold event has just occurred, the indicator that the time is right around the corner.

McDonald’s has started accepting credit cards.

I can tell by the glazed look on your face that I’ve lost you. Bear with me for a second. The new “device” — or, rather, the function of a device — that will allow Apple to successfully come out with an all-in-one device is something the Japanese and Europeans are already using, and that we’ve gotten a taste of: A digital wallet.

Ever used a Speedpass? Picture that on a much larger scale: A digital smartcard tied to your handheld that allows you to make payments by simply waving it in front of a sensor. The early adopters are already using cell phones to pay for soda. But the key catalyst has to be the electronic linkage of large retailers who specialize in simple products: We’re all accustomed to using a credit card at conventional stores, but it’s when that usage extends down to our true convenience items — and you don’t get a much better example than fast food — that the potential has truly been realized.

Critics — myself included — didn’t think much of the Speedpass when it was first announced. After all, why have a specialized device when I can just as easily slide a credit card in and out of the gas pump? Well guess what? We were wrong. It is much more convenient, quicker, and simpler. I was genuinely pissed when my corner Mobil sold out to Sunoco, and my Speedpass was no longer an option. Sure, it seems silly to think about saving just a few seconds as a big deal, but over time, it gets to be more so.

Now, there are some admittedly huge obstacles to overcome, which is why it’ll still be some time before we see our “dream machine” — obstacles from privacy to reliability to security. But the Speedpass model has shown that it’s not only possible, but viable. So while I’ve gone ahead and bought my T3 this time around, when it comes time to replace it, I’ll be biting into an Apple.

(A special thanks to Bob Judd, formerly of American Race Fan and currently of Consignment RVs, for the original discussion that led to this entry.)

Movie Night: Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle

Somewhere along the line, you’d think somebody would have noticed that the movie you were making was utter garbage.

Not to say Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle is without its moments. In fact, that’s about all it is: moments. Bernie Mac can’t help but be funny. And Demi Moore not only looks great, but shows that as an actor, she’s head and shoulders above the rest of this bunch (though I’ve already talked about the ridiculous anachronism of naming a woman her age Madison). But what the hell were John Cleese and Bruce Willis doing in this piece of crap? (I guess Bill Murray was the only smart one in the bunch — he passed.)

You know you’re in trouble when the basic premise of your story makes no sense whatsoever. The government has a list of people in the Witness Protection Program, and decides to split the list and encode onto two titanium rings. Um, why? There is no reason on Earth to do something so mindbogglingly stupid. I’m not exactly all that confident in the intelligence of our government, but even I give them more credit than that.

Director McG obviously just sat down, made a list of things he thought were “cool” — helicopters, motocross, sports cars — and then farmed them out to some hack and said, “Figure out a way to string all of these together.” And while he can compose a shot, that’s about as far as his directorial talent extends. I can’t even begin to cover the picture’s sheer stupidity. Helicopters making a cold start in the time it takes to fall off of a dam. People crashing sports cars at a hundred miles an hour and walking away without a scratch. Characters being shot and falling off the roof of the Griffith Observatory, then walking away unscathed. Not to mention the ridiculously impossible (and glaringly obvious) wirework stunts.

Yeah, I know, it’s supposed to be “satire.” But see, the thing is, it’s not. Satire has to actually understand not only what it’s supposed to be mocking, but that it can’t take itself so seriously. This is just self-indulgent tripe. Not that I think anyone out there was planning on sitting through this. Hell, I just sat through it (on HBO) because I’d heard such terrible things about it that — even though I didn’t like the original — I wanted to see if it fell into the “so bad it’s good” category.

Nope. It’s just plain, good old-fashioned bad.

Movie Night: The Goonies

Time to upset the fanboy contingent again.

I watched The Goonies again, for the first time in what must be more than a decade. It’s one of those movies that holds a special place for genre fans — Spielberg-produced, Richard Donner-directed, the debut of then-child actor Sean Astin (not to mention appearances by Josh Brolin, Robert Davi, Joe Pantoliano, and a still-appealing Corey Feldman). I watched it with the girls, who seemed to enjoy it enough. But for me, it just confirmed what I’d suspected back when I saw it originally: It doesn’t really deserve its cult status. It’s too implausibly cheesy for an adult (one looking at it objectively, anyway) to enjoy, but really too violent (or disturbing, anyway) for kids (just explaining John Matuszak’s deformed appearance as “Sloth” was tough enough). In retrospect, I probably would have passed on showing it to the girls; though, to be fair, neither of them really appears to be particularly damaged by it.

There was talk a couple of years back of doing a Goonies 2. And while I can understand the appeal of reuniting the cast (well, without the late Anne Ramsey, naturally), I think they were wise to decide against it. Sometimes these things are better remembered through the hazy mists of childhood.

Aaaaaargh!

Sorry, folks, no big weekly wrap-up entry today. I’ve just realized that one of my major DVD projects has crapped out on me: DVD Studio Pro won’t even open the file. It worked fine the last time I worked on it, about a month ago.

And, of course, since my backup copy was based on that same file, it won’t open either. And because it’s been a month since I opened the file, I no longer have any interim iterations I can go back to.

I’ve got a copy of the “finished” disc, so I can make additional copies, and I certainly have all of the component elements that went into making the disc — meaning that in theory I could reconstruct it — but the amount of organization, scripting, coding and other work done directly in DVD Studio Pro far surpassed anything I’d done before. This was, by far, the most complex disc I’d ever mastered (which makes me suspect that its very complexity was what led to its corruption).

In any case, I have one hell of a lot of work in front of me...

Slight Change of Plans...

“What! We’ve got a leak on the Senate Intelligence Committee? You mean somebody’s actually daring to question our intelligence-gathering techniques? Talking to Fox News and CNN? Well, at least we can trust ol’ Rupert to kill the story, but still. Dammit, call out the dogs! I want a complete investigation! Figure out who it is and nail him to the wall! We’ll prosecute to the fullest extent of the law... What? He’s a Republican? Oh, then never mind, let’s just turn it over to the ‘Senate Ethics Committee.’ Snicker, snicker. Yeah, I thought that was a good one, too. So where were we? Oh, right, making up ‘threats’ so we can steal headlines from Kerry. So do you think they’ll let us get away with stopping more traffic...?”

To Sweep or Not to Sweep

I have birds in my chimney.

Okay, so it’s not bats in my belfry, but after reading this entry, you may conclude that it amounts to substantially the same thing. Let me explain: A while back, the wind blew off our chimney cap. It’s a fairly simple job to remount it, and therein lies the problem: It’s simple enough that I can’t stomach the idea of paying someone to come out and do it, but it does require both an extension ladder and a reasonable lack of acrophobia, both of which are in short supply at home.

So the job’s been put off for some time now. Then suddenly, a few weeks ago, we started hearing noises from the fireplace. At first, it took a bit of investigating for us to figure out just where the noises were coming from, but then we realized that the best technique for such discovery was simply to follow the cats. Yes, they were a bit confused as to how exactly to get at the birds in question, but they were quite clear on just where the birds were.

So now, dear reader, I figure you’re falling into one of two camps. On the one hand, there are those of you who would encourage me to just get up there, knock the nest out and reattach the chimney cap (or bite the bullet and hire someone to do it). I’m not making any judgment as to whether you offer this advice out of practical assessment or avian antipathy; just making a general classification here — feel free to come up with your own rationalization.

Then there are those who would advise me to wait the little guys out. After all, birds do grow up pretty quickly — and given the racket they produce, these are definitely juveniles we’re talking about. Sure, it’s annoying at times, and it’s certainly frustrating the hell out of the cats, but it’s not all that bad.

For the moment, I’m sitting in the latter camp. Okay, so maybe some of it’s still my reluctance to actually do the job I’ve managed to put off for this long, but I must admit that I’m a sucker for baby birds. Baby animals of just about any stripe, really — hell, I won’t eat veal or lamb, though I don’t consider myself a vegetarian. So I’ll probably just wait until the little guys are big enough to fly out on their own and then get up there, sweep out the nest, and reattach the cap.

Go ahead, mock away. But remember that you won’t have to explain to the girls what happened to the baby birds...

The New News

Thanks to Geoff for directing me to Slate’s commentary on the showdown between Ted Koppel and Jon Stewart. Normally, I avoid Slate like the plague — hello, it’s a Microsoft publication — but this time I made an exception. Go give it a read.

I wish I’d seen the confrontation myself (I haven’t been able to find it online). But where I will disagree with Slate’s assessment is in the notion that The Daily Show presents any less accurate a view of the news than traditional news outlets. Are they investigative reporters? No, of course not — they’re just pulling their information from television and newspapers like the rest of us. But unlike traditional outlets, they’re not nearly so eager to accept the “spin” vomited out by overtly partisan sources (on either side of the aisle).

I don’t watch network television news. Ever. I do read the Post, listen to NPR, and check out the Reuters reports, but television news? Sorry, I’ve long since given up on it — if they’re not parroting some Duh-bya party line, they’re trying to scare us with some bizarre little threat that applies to maybe four people in the entire country while completely ignoring actual news.

Cable news I’ll sometimes watch, but even then only if I need immediate information (an area in which television still holds an advantage). But the old “big three”? Let’s see, which gigantic corporate entity do you want filtering your news? Viacom, Disney, or General Electric? Thanks, I’ll stick with Jon Stewart.

Collisions

I had to stop by the body shop to drop off an extra key this morning, and I got a chance to take a look at my car. Not “officially,” mind you, but it was parked around the back, so I gave it a quick once-over. They’ve taken off the spare tire assembly, started work on repairing the rear gate, and dismantled the whole bumper.

More significantly, I noticed that they had removed my “Bush/Orwell ’04: Ignorance Is Strength” bumper sticker.

The sticker wasn’t on the bumper (in which case its removal wouldn’t exactly raise an eyebrow), but on the rear gate. I suppose they could argue that they had to remove the sticker to repair the gate — after all, they’re also replacing the gate’s existing Honda emblem. But seeing as how there wasn’t actually any work done in the vicinity of the sticker, I have to be just a bit suspicious.

I shouldn’t really be surprised. After all, the only magazines in their waiting area were American Rifleman and American Hunter, the newsletters of the NRA — of which they had a dozen issues. (Some... interesting reading — I debated entering their “Win My ‘Cold Dead Hands’ Rifle” contest, just on the slight chance that I’d win at least one of the prizes. Would have made for some pretty amusing coverage.)

But in the end, I’m not going to get all that upset about it. After all, it does a good job of showing us just the sort of mentality we’re up against: One thing Duh-bya has clearly demonstrated is that silencing opposition is the preferred G.O.P. method of “debate.” And I can always order another one.

In fact, since the car will be in the shop for some time still, the new sticker should arrive just in time for me to put it back on as soon as the car’s finished. Before I’ve even driven it off their lot.

Shutting me up isn’t quite that easy.

A Collection of Tidbits

No time to write anything deep, but a couple of things over the weekend are worth at least a mention.

One, I watched Episodes I and II of the Star Wars series with the girls; not quite worth a full “Movie Night” entry, since my thoughts on the films were largely covered before, but the more I watch these, the more forgiving I’m becoming. Some of the bits I find cringe-worthy put the kids into fits of laughter; I’m not about to start calling them masterpieces, but I’m willing to let it slide. Same goes for all the (now confirmed) changes Lucas is putting into the DVD release of the “classic” trilogy; I can live with ’em.

Saw The Producers at the Kennedy Center on Friday night. An absolutely fantastic show. I was worried that Alan Ruck and Lewis J. Stadlen wouldn’t compare with Matthew Broderick and Nathan Lane, but they more than held their own. An expensive outing, to be sure, but not one you’ll want to miss. Of course, you could just wait for the movie...

Well, my CR-V’s in the shop for the next week and a half, and I’m driving around a rental — a Nissan Maxima. Nice, comfortable ride (hey, when USAA said they’d authorize a “premium” car, I said, “Sure”), but the thing has a turning radius somewhat comparable with the Earth’s orbit around the sun. Tough to navigate the garage at the office.

Got a lot of patchwork done on the front lawn over the weekend, just in time for the apparently incessant rain. Makes for a depressing time, but I have to imagine the new “baby grass” (as the girls call it) is happy. Although I am amazed that I can put more than a half-ton of dirt down on the front lawn and you can’t even tell afterward. (And on a side note, the Honda CR-V is none too happy about having a half-ton of dirt piled in the back.)

Palm finally got back to me via e-mail — more than 72 hours later, as compared with the 12-hour turnround they indicate. And they promptly proved that they hadn’t even read my original message. Despite the fact that I had specifically noted that I had already done the various reset options for the device — as indicated in their online knowledge base — the genius of a customer service rep decided to just copy and paste that very section from their website and send it along to me, with the ridiculous suggestion that he hoped it would solve my problem. Don’t get me wrong — I don’t expect a free replacement or anything; I may be pissed off that it died a year and a half after I got it, but I do accept that it’s out of warranty. But when I have to wait more than three days for a response, you had damn well better answer the actual questions I asked. I smell another war brewing.

And finally, an editorial in today’s Post gets it wrong again. According to them, we must “refrain from observing, as Mr. Dean did, that ‘every time something happens that’s not good for President Bush, he plays this trump card, which is terrorism.’” I’ll concede that it could be dangerous to conclude that all terrorist warnings and cautions are false, but hell, yes, Ridge’s latest warning — based on three-year-old information — is politically motivated. Yes, I’m coming right out and saying it: The timing of this “threat elevation” is explicitly meant to deflect attention away from John Kerry’s “bump” after the convention.

Under other circumstances, would I consider the likelihood that Tom Ridge (who, after all, isn’t as much an exemplar of evil as Ashcroft, Cheney, or Rumsfeld) was honestly acting in the national interest? Sure. But when your track record is pretty much exclusively an overtly partisan pattern of deceit, your credibility is nil.

God, I can’t wait until November, when we can kick this whole team of screwups out on their collective asses.