12.23.2003

I’m Getting a Little Lax in My News Coverage

I completely neglected to mention the Golden Globe award nominations announced last week. I suppose at this late date, you’ve either read them yourselves — or at the least can do so without too much effort. For my part, I find it notable that of all the motion picture nominations, I’ve seen... two. Finding Nemo and Love Actually. Sure, I’ll be seeing Return of the King before year’s end, but other than that, I’m out of it. I am faring better on the television front (though not all that much), having watched 24, Friends and Sex and the City regularly enough (though the increasingly crappy Friends is rapidly dropping off the must-see schedule), and I’ve at least seen Life With Bonnie.

It’s just not as easy to get out anymore. I thought that with both my folks having retired this year, it’d be easier to have them watch the girls, but instead, they’re actually — how dare they — doing things themselves. Like traveling. Or spending time at their lake house. Thankfully, we’ve found a new local babysitter, so maybe we’ll have some more chances to get out, but this year’s a wash.

And with that, I’ll be signing off. I may pop in briefly, but in all likelihood, I’ll be going off-line for the holidays. Hope everyone has a joyous yuletide, and I’ll see you in 2004: The Year We Oust the Regime.

Even for an Avowed Evangelist, Blind Adoration Isn’t Good for Anyone

AppleMy iPod is almost surgically attached to my hip — I love my little electronic gadgetry, and this has the dual advantages of being both useful and more portable than even Murphy. I still haven’t named it, but it’s here. But all is not well in the realm of digital music. As covered fairly extensively in the Post this past weekend, iPod has a dirty little secret: The rechargeable battery doesn’t last forever. In fact, if the assessment by the Neistat Brothers is correct, you’ve got about 18 months, and your battery replacement options are (or were, anyway) pretty much nonexistent. A video posted on their site depicts a “guerilla public service campaign” to get the message out there; it’s worth a look.

According to the Post article, Apple’s trying to fix the problem (naturally claiming all the way that the brothers’ campaign had nothing to do with the decision) by offering a $99 battery-replacement service. Which, given the labor involved, seems like a fair enough solution. Of course, I went ahead and sprang for Best Buy’s extended-service warranty, so I likely won’t have to worry about it. Yeah, those things are normally ridiculously overpriced (I recently turned down a similar plan on a new personal video camera), but if the device’s expected life is substantially less than the period covered by the warranty (four years — substantially more than even Apple’s $59 “extended warranty”), then free repair — or, more likely, replacement with a newer model — doesn’t seem like too bad an idea.

UPDATE: Looks like the lawyers are looking to get in on the action.

In other news, it’s not worth its own entry, but there’s a cute Letter to the Editor in today’s Post that raises an amusing point: If we’re safer after the capture of Saddam Hussein, then why did the Ministry of Homeland Security have to raise the terror alert level to “Ernie” just a few days later? Just curious.

Speaking of the Ministry, I thought I’d mention that there’s a new book, If You’re not a Terrorist... Then Stop Asking Questions!, coming soon from Micah Wright, author of YOU Back the Attack! WE’LL Bomb Who We Want! and creator of the Propaganda Remix Project. I’ve put it on my Amazon Wish List (hint, hint), though alas, it won’t be published in time for the holidays.

And lest I forget, Happy Festivus, everyone! I think there’s this writer/video producer I know who’s (gasp) 35 today. Not me, though. I’m 29 (for the seventh year running).

12.22.2003

Who Knew I Was Having Such an Effect? Or Really Any Effect, for That Matter?

Prometheus Unleashed has made the first (discovered) appearance in the hate-links list of a right-wing blog. I had no idea that I was reaching enough people that the extremists had to be warned about me.

Boy, this may be the best Christmas present I could have asked for.

Well, okay, maybe it’s not as nice as a widescreen plasma TV, but it’s still pretty damned cool.

P.S.: I find it particularly amusing that today, the blog’s top story is basically an urban legend. Kind of indicative of the intelligence level we’re dealing with here.

“Classic” reader comments:


Jeff 1971 · Mon, Dec 22nd 2003, at 8:07PM

My linking from Stark Truth was how I found your site. I figured if he thought you were ridiculous, then you probably had something meaningful to say. I thought the two of you already knew each other. Congratulations on the "endorsement!" His site gets to be a little monotonous after a while but might be good for a few laughs... assuming the boredom from overkill doesn't get to you first.

Bill Coughlan · Tue, Dec 23rd 2003, at 9:54AM

No, I only just discovered it. Never heard of the guy before. In checking around, I figure he found my site via some comments I’ve made on Tom Bridge’s “Adventures in Troubleshooting” site.

See, I’ve got nothing against “conservatives” who can at least justify their positions rather than spouting rhetoric. Which is why the extreme right gets under my skin — so many of their arguments consist largely of “it’s right because I say so,” or “my leaders say so,” or “my beliefs say so,” what have you. I’m more than happy to provide links to alternative viewpoints. For example, Tom tends toward more conservative positions than I, but much of that stems from a fairly Libertarian outlook. A position I disagree with, but which is (a) based on a valid worldview, and (b) logically consistent. (I realize I’m boiling a very complex outlook into a sound bite — forgive me.)

Jeff Stark · Tue, Dec 23rd 2003, at 11:14AM

Well, you think you have me all figured out do ya? Actually I am a Conservative Libertarian, and I disagree with this administration regularly. I see by simply glancing over your posts that you are quite fair as well. Let's see in less than two days, you posted 'The Bush Regime Is Still Determined to Lie to the American People' and 'Just Because Bush Is Always Wrong Doesn't Mean the French Are Always Right.' Obviously you have no biased in your assessment of this administration. Yet I am the extremist. You crack me up.

Bill Coughlan · Tue, Dec 23rd 2003, at 11:19AM

Hey, if the shoe fits...

Jeff Stark · Tue, Dec 23rd 2003, at 11:31AM

So then you admit that you are a left wing ideologue who walks hand in hand with Howard Dean and listens to every word that he preaches.

Bill Coughlan · Tue, Dec 23rd 2003, at 11:58AM

Ooh, yeah, that’s exactly what I said.

For the record, I’ll admit several things.

I am a liberal. To the core on social issues, less so on economic issues. After all, I have a brain, and am actually capable of rational thought.

In my view, Libertarianism’s a great idea, and I support its goals in terms of the aforementioned social arena, but I believe it falls apart in the wake of rampant abuses of the capitalist system. Without checks, capital begets further capital, at the expense of those without said capital. Kind of like what happened under the Reagan administration, and is happening again under Duh-bya. (See, here’s where you say I must be a Communist, since I don’t hold Capitalism to be the supreme ideal.)

I do listen to a great deal that Howard Dean says, and I support him wholeheartedly. I don’t agree with everything he says, and I am more than a tad embarrassed at some of his verbal gaffes, but I believe he is the best choice to correct the mind-numbingly idiotic track this regime has put the nation upon.

As a general rule, though, I tend toward the hawkish on military action. I wholeheartedly supported the campaign against Afghanistan and the Taliban. It would have been even nicer if we’d actually finished the job, rather than diverting attention to a decade-old plan to go after Saddam Hussein, using whatever means were available to deceive the American people, who, naively, actually trusted their “president.” Unlike the rest of the world, who knew a lie when they saw one.

The conservative world was up in arms about Clinton lying (I don’t necessarily lump you in with that crew, as I’ve not read anything you wrote at the time). How many people died as a result of Clinton lying about sex? Contrast that with the hundreds of American soldiers who died because Bush lied about Saddam being a threat to the world at large.

As for bias, if actually looking at reality is considered bias, then guilty as charged.

Jeff Stark · Tue, Dec 23rd 2003, at 1:03PM

Well for starters, I would not call you a communist. I would call you a socialist. You have made no statement that you want the government to solely control our economy and to overthrow capitalism. I would contend however, that were it not for our Capitalist economy, the two of us would probably not be sitting here debating this topic today. No other form of economics could have sustained the growth that the United States has endured for hundreds of years. We have outpaced every other economy in the world. You choose to denounce capitalism, in theory, but you live and breath it daily.

As you with Dean, I too have differences of opinion with the Bush administration. However, you comment 'mind-numbingly idiotic track this regime has put the nation upon' is degrading. This is where your true Liberalism shines through. You, as well as most Liberals, believe that you have all the answers. That the average person cannot think for himself or herself. You also believe that the majority is always wrong and the minority is always right. You force these beliefs upon the populous as the truths that cannot be denounced. And if someone from the other side disputes your claims you censor them and take away their first amendment rights. Heaven forbid the same happen to you.

The war on terror is in Iraq. It has become the epicenter of terrorism. Not one single suicide bomber in Iraq has been an Iraqi. UBL has ordered that they take the fight to the Americans in Iraq. We continue to fight in Afghanistan with great success. Now that we have captured Saddam, we are focusing our intelligence on UBL. It is only a matter of time before that sick bastard is either dead, which I assume will be his fate, or in custody.

Clinton committed perjury. He then stated in a national address to the country that he did not have sexual relations with Monica. He lied. Hell, he doesn't even know what the definition of the word IS is. This is an absolute. You continue to call Bush a liar, yet you have no evidence. You have the left wing rhetoric, which has changed monthly because either it does not resonate with the American public or it is proved to be nonfactual and irrelevant.

So, I would concur that you are biased, because your reality is a filled with smoke from the Democratic Party. Name one issue that Dean and the rest of the Democrats harped on 4 months ago that has proven to be true? Niger? Nope, that was British intelligence and they stand by it. Eminent threat? Sorry, he never said that. He said we need to stop them BEFORE they become an eminent threat. Economy? Sorry, booming, fastest growth rate in 20 years. WMDs? The American people have spoken and said that it does not matter. And I would ask then why Clinton also bombed them for the same reason and stated that Bush was correct in assuming they had WMDs based upon the intelligence that he had.

Bill Coughlan · Tue, Dec 23rd 2003, at 1:51PM

See, this is where we get into the whole black-and-white thing I tried to avoid, but I’ll concede I was unclear. I’m all for capitalism as a starting point. What I object to is unchecked capitalism.

I don’t believe I have “all the answers.” I do believe Duh-bya and his cohorts have none of them. I don’t know where you got the idea that I believe the majority is always wrong, but I will argue that it ain’t always right. That’s why we live in a Constitutional republic, and not a pure democracy. According to your “majority rules” argument, if 51 percent of the population decides to exterminate the other 49 percent, that’s all well and good. I don’t recall forcing any views on the populace — I’m sorry, “populous.”

And I’m honestly confused about your accusation of “censorship.” If anything, I’m a First Amendment purist — that’s frankly why I can’t stomach Joe Lieberman. Sure, the media’s not gonna run every unsupported right-wing rant that the GOP thinks up, but I’d hardly call that censorship. Unlike, say, the gag orders that the Patriot Act slaps on librarians...

And sure, UBL (or OBL, or whatever his name is today) is jumping on the bandwagon in Iraq. But you seem to be forgetting that he wasn’t until we invaded Iraq. That presented him with another opportunity to go after the United States. Before that, he hated Saddam Hussein — not radical-Islamic enough. “Now that we have captured Saddam, we are focusing our intelligence on UBL”? Why the hell did we divert our intelligence from Bin Laden in the first place?

FYI, Clinton was never convicted of perjury. I ain’t defending him, but it might help to get your facts straight. Under the definition established by the court in question, “sexual relations” was defined exclusively to mean sexual intercourse. But because Clinton’s lie (and yeah, I believe he did lie, whatever the technicalities concerned) involved sex, all the self-righteous Republicans went nuts. And yet they’re strangely silent now. I suppose lies are perfectly all right if they just lead to hundreds of American deaths, but not if they have to do with life in the bedroom.

The Niger uranium yellowcake story was false, and the Bush regime knew it before it went into the State of the Union address. However you choose to weasel out of it, it was a lie. The aluminum tubes that Colin Powell claimed were part of a uranium-enriching scheme? He knew that was a lie before the speech. Imminent — oh, I’m sorry, “eminent” — threat? No, he didn’t use the word “imminent.” I never said he did. But he sure as hell implied that such a threat would become imminent if we didn’t invade. Given the complete inability of Iraq to attack the United States militarily — and its lack of support among militant extremists like al Qaeda — I can’t help but wonder exactly how this threat was supposed to become “imminent.” “While there are many dangers in the world, the threat from Iraq stands alone because it gathers the most serious dangers of our age in one place. Iraq’s weapons of mass destruction are controlled by a murderous tyrant who has already used chemical weapons to kill thousands of people” — Cincinnati, October 2002. “The American people have spoken”? Really? I seem to recall that the election ain’t until next year. As for the economy, sure, the rich are doing great, especially with the tax-cut gifts Duh-bya handed them, running up the biggest deficit in history in the process. Short-term gains, long-term catastrophe — or at least so the Economist believes.

A “mind-numbingly idiotic track”? Damn straight.

Jeff Stark · Tue, Dec 23rd 2003, at 4:16PM

That is specifically why I said I would call you a Socialist and not a Communist. Maybe I missed something there.

I based my assumption on the fact that you stated you were a Liberal, especially regarding the social agenda. If this is truly the case, then I would assume that you back the separation of Church and State. Many poles have shown that a strong majority, typically in the 80% range believes that the government should not impose upon the individuals rights to religious expression, as this is what is specifically stated in the Constitution. Last time I checked, there was no mention of separation of Church and State. If you do indeed believe this, then you are subjugating the masses to appease the minority. In this case those that have faith and those that are atheists. This practice is basically setting up Atheism to be the state sponsored religion.

You are absolutely correct that UBL was not in Iraq, and I never forgot this. And as far as we know, he is not there now either. If he is, you should probably call the DOD to inform them of this. (just a rub, I know what is not what you meant) Anyhow, he was in hiding. The chatter was down. We didn't know where he was. So, along comes Iraq, BAM, he is back out. Chatter is up and intelligence is up. He will be caught now.

You keep mentioning how Bush lied. I find it truly amazing that with no credible evidence, you can state this. Unless you are one of those mind readers. You aren't are you? They are quite creepy. If he acted on the intelligence that was provided to him, then he did not lie. If the Brits are standing behind their Niger intell, then he did not lie. If he believed the intelligence, then I am sure he believed there was an imminent (please excuse the eminent, my fault) threat, then he did not lie. Umm'Saddam did indeed use chemical weapons to kill thousands, not sure where you were going with that quote. Sure you can find economists that differ. They always do. It depends what economic theory they subscribe to. Hell man, there are people out that that think we never went to the moon.

But, this conversation is becoming daunting because of the various topics. We can go back and forth for days about who lied about what. Lets focus on one topic, how about capitalism. Please explain to me what kinds of checks and balances you believe we need. I am sure we can have a much more fruitful dialog if we choose one topic. See, I am not here to rant and call you names. I am here to have a meaningful debate. If you want, I can leave. But surely we can be civil and discuss the issues.

Pulse · Wed, Dec 24th 2003, at 1:32AM

Polls, not poles. Capitalized, that word refers to an Eastern European race; without the cap, it refers to the northern and southern extremes of the planet.

Populace is the correct word when referring to the population of a specific political entity, such as the United States, Germany or Zimbabwe. "Populous" is a descriptive adjective.

"you have no biased"... Oh, criminy. Stop by my freshman English class someday, won't you?

Don't imagine that I'm a liberal by any stretch of the imagination. I simply have a fondness for proper English.

Jeff Stark · Wed, Dec 24th 2003, at 7:22AM

Great, thanks Pulse. But, please don't feel the need to be anal retentive on my account. I type many messages in a day. Sometimes, I type the wrong word. Maybe by accident, maybe out of ignorance. Nevertheless, the issue is the focus, not the word.

Bill Coughlan · Wed, Dec 24th 2003, at 9:57PM

Um, yeah, I think we can pretty much guarantee it was out of ignorance. And calling Pulse a liberal is... well, if you knew him, you’d know it was... let’s just say inaccurate. Libertine, maybe, but liberal...?

You’ve shown your obvious ignorance of our legal system by your feeble understanding of the doctrine of “separation fo church and state.” Nobody ever said the Constitution enshrined the notion of “separation of church and state” — at least not explicitly. there are a lot of things it doesn’t say explicitly — that’s why we have a court system to interpret the concepts of the Constitution in terms of applied law. And the legally defined precedent is that the establishment clause requires a separation between the church and the state. So do I favor the subjugation of the will of the majority in certain cases? Hell, yes. It’s called stopping the “tyranny of the majority,” a basic tenet of a Constitutional system.

Oh, but then I suppose you favor a strictly fundamentalist Islamic-law Constitution in Iraq, right?

My favorite quote of Thomas Jefferson is that engraved in the memorial that bears his name — I go down there every so often to read it (an advantage of working in Washington). “I have sworn upon the altar of god, eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man.” Know the context? I’d be seriously surprised if you did. Look it up sometime.

“No credible evidence” that Bush lied? Just how is the view from inside your ass? I know you don’t read the Post — it being an example of the mythical “left-wing media” you keep pulling out of the air — but take a look at today’s front page. Even his own investigative committee (completely unbiased, I’m sure) has concurred that whoops, we knew the intelligence was false. Claiming that it ain’t a lie because they thought it was true doesn’t let that asshole off the hook. He knew the intelligence was false.

And frankly, I don’t think we disagree all that much on the capitalism front (strange that we might actually find something to agree on). Which is why I don’t really consider myself a “socialist” (though I don’t object to the label — I’ll give credit where credit is due; you didn’t jump to the “commie” bait I’ve come to expect from most folks with whom I’ve argued). I just belive that checks — in terms of a graduated income tax, fewer tax breaks for corporate entities, environmental restrictions, fair-labor laws — are necessary to protect society from the abuses of the powerful. Contrary to Gordon Gecko’s assessment, greed is not good. The “market” does not correct for everything. Given the corporate stockholder mentality — short-term gains supersede long-term need, a view apparently shared by this administration — there is absolutely no incentive for “corporate America” (and I realize that’s a blanket grouping, for which I apologize) to do anything other than that which maximizes short-term investor gain. Which bankrupts not only the nation, but usually the corporations themselves (figuratively, if not literally).

In terms of the “welfare state” idea, I agree there should be reasonable incentives to bring people off of the welfare rolls. in my view, the whole point of welfare is to help bring down-on-their-luck citizens back to a point where they can contribute as tax-paying members of society, at least where possible. But cutting people off arbitrarily does not so that.

Further, as a social animal, we have an obligation to care for those in our society who cannot care for themselves. Yes, we should strive to have people care for themselves, but that is not always possible. If we are to view our national society as an extension of the tribal collective our species began with (and otherwise, what’s the pont of identifying ourselves with a larger society at the exclusion of other groups), then we must continue that tradition.

“Take all that you have and give it to the poor.” Can’t remember who said that, but it must have been some long-haired commie, right?

Jeff Stark · Thu, Dec 25th 2003, at 11:22PM

ummmmm...I never said Pulse was a Liberal. I also never said the Constitution explicitly stated there was a separation of church and state. Also, I think your arrogant and ignorant personal attacks are unfounded. I guess I am still at a loss to find a site, liberal or even moderate, where we can have an intelligent conversation with out words like asshole being arbitrarily thrown about to appease ones immaturity. Your commie reference at the end is quite amusing, as I have yet to use that word. I like the way you try and bait people into labeling you. Is this so you don't feel guilty for doing the like? If you want to have an honest open discussion about the issue(s), I will oblige. But I will not subject myself to personal attacks and name-calling. Just let me know.

Bill Coughlan · Fri, Jan 2nd 2004, at 12:57PM

Hey, I can’t say it hasn’t been... amusing. But I have better things to do with my time than appease your desire for validation through civilized debate. As far as I’m concerned, the age of civilized debate went out the window with Newt Gingrich’s “Contract on America.” We liberals are starting to toughen up a bit.

Tell you what — Rush Limbaugh, Bill O’Reilly and Ann Coulter start acting civilized, I’ll follow suit. Until that day comes, don’t hold your breath waiting. I am one angry SOB, and I’m not about to shut up about it.

Though I don’t recall calling you an asshole; you’ve certainly done nothing to warrant such a label. I called Bush an asshole, but if you can think of a less offensive synonym that carries all of the same connotations, I’m perfectly wiling to entertain using it.

I did make a few cracks about your ignorance, and your persistent inability to spell (actually, I guess that’s the same thing). And I did say you’ve got your head up your ass with regard to the whole Bush-lying issue — an argument which, if logically consistent, would require you to claim that Clinton didn’t lie either. Somehow I don’t see you making that claim.

Good luck finding your little debating club. Can’t say I’ll miss you, but you’re still welcome to stop by anytime.

Pulse · Sat, Jan 3rd 2004, at 3:14AM

Jeff, if you think that the issue is the focus and not the word, you simply lump yourself in with the ignorant masses. If you are incapable of expressing yourself eloquently, then...well, DON'T. I am by no means a liberal; although Bill has been a friend for many years we disagree on a WIDE variety of issues. One issue that particularly raises my ire is the disintegration of the English language in the United States. Many liberal philosophists will argue that this is simply the expression of various cultures. I disagree. I'm hoping that you're simply making typing "accidents"--in which case, I urge you to proofread.

Anal retentiveness with the English language is, in fact, my job. In fact, it's literally my job--I am an English teacher, and my career goals involve improving literacy to the point that we don't have *quite* so many bloody welfare recipients. Well--at least, not so many welfare recipients HERE. I don't really care what happens to the Midwest or the West Coast, as long as I never have to lay eyes on them.

Bill Coughlan · Mon, Jan 5th 2004, at 10:08AM

Let me offer one clarification — yes, Pulse and I disagree regularly, though I like to think that over the years each has informed the other’s opinions in several areas.

However, one area in which we find ourselves in absolute agreement is the importance of proper expression. Yes, message boards, e-mails, and the like are held to a lesser standard than traditionally published work — and as such, reasonable accommodation can be made for typographical errors. But errors that are not the result of simple mistyped keys, but of basic ignorance of spelling, grammar, and the like, immediately undermine any credibility on the part of the writer. One can gripe forever about how spelling doesn’t matter, that the message is all that’s important — but if the message is presented with the apparent ability of an elementary-school student, then the world is going to assess the credibility of the messenger as that of a child. Not that children don’t often have a valuable point of view, but in an adult argument, they don’t carry a whole lot of weight.

Tough lesson for those who never made the effort to learn to spell (or write), but that’s reality for the written medium, no matter what form it takes.

Jeff Stark · Tue, Jan 6th 2004, at 10:48PM

Ok, fine. If simple spelling errors are that important to you and your site, and you are unable to have a reasonable debate, then so be it. I move one. Good by and good luck. For all those that read this message, if you choose to voice your opinion and would like to contribute to civil and meaningful debate, feel free to visit my site. I will not demean or disregard your thoughts simply on typing errors or because I am so self-endulged or self-righteous to believe that my views are the end all. I will voice my opinion, come and debate that opinion. With out such civil debate we degrade ourselves to this meaningless site that you are reading this post on.

Bill Coughlan · Wed, Jan 7th 2004, at 9:42AM

Yeah, go ahead and “move one” and enjoy not being “self-endulged.”

The fact that you continue to rationalize a fundamental failure to understand basic spelling — say, “endulgent” versus “indulgent” — makes my point for me. The “i” and “e” keys are nowhere near each other on the keyboard — unless your hands are absolutely huge, that’s no “typo.” You just can’t spell beyond the level of a middle schooler. And if you can’t spell beyond that level of education, I have serious doubts about your abilities in other areas.

Why on earth an adult would want to engage a child in such a debate is beyond me, but if anyone’s interested, go right ahead.

Jeff 1971 · Fri, Jan 9th 2004, at 9:40PM

Jeff Stark, nice plug for your site, but I've been there. What can be described as a "civil and meaningful" debate is a matter of opinion, I guess, and my opinion is that your site is neither of those. No, you won't demean or disregard anyone's thoughts simply on typing errors or because you are so self-endulged or self-righteous to believe that your views are the end all. Oh... wait... scratch the second half of that last sentence.

The Bush Regime Is Still Determined to Lie to the American People

RumsfeldParticularly in light of the capture of Saddam Hussein, the Duh-bya reelection machine — i.e., the entire executive branch — is determined to keep making sure people think there’s a connection between 9/11 and the invasion of Iraq. A recent column in the Post draws attention to Rumsfeld’s decision to combine the Afghanistan and Iraq wars into a single campaign medal, despite there being absolutely nothing in common between the two, in defiance of decades of military protocol. There’s no possible legitimate reason for this — it serves only to keep the lie alive. I don’t know how many times we can say it before it’ll sink in: The Iraqi invasion had absolutely nothing to do with the war on terrorism. Nothing! I can only hope that this decision — if left unchanged, which seems likely — serves to remind our honorable veterans that there was a lie in the first place.

In the end, I don’t know what’s worse: Rummy’s flagrant disrespect for those who serve or the fact that I can find so little coverage of it save for the above-linked opinion piece (of course, there’s no mention of it on the War Department’s site). Senator Jeff Bingaman is trying to change that, though his proposed amendment was defeated along party lines. In contrast, the GOP-controlled House already passed such a bill. I never thought I’d see it, but apparently some things are too reprehensible even for the Republicans — House Republicans at that.

“Classic” reader comments:


Troy · Tue, Dec 23rd 2003, at 10:48AM

I read what you wrote on StarkTruth so I figured I would see if you are as intelligent as you claim to be... What a disappointment. How can you say that the invasion of Iraq has nothing to do with the war on terror? Have you no military concept? Have you no recollection of history? What would have happened if Europe would have preformed a preemptive strike on Hitler when he broke the treaty? Millions of people would not have been needlessly killed across the continent. Your hero, Clinton, who's approval ratings were lower than G Dubya's, helped shut down milosovich in the Balkans even though he posed no immediate threat to the US. And he never went to the UN. This attack on Iraq has the many people rethinking their failing religion that calls for the deaths of non believers. Saudi Arabia is now holding elections, Libya no longer want to be on our shit list, giving access to UN inspectors. Did you ever serve in the military? Ribbon are awarded for theaters of operations all the time. Us soldiers should expect to receive the SWA service ribbon as well as any others the Gov deems so. Also troops who never set foot in that area will receive a ribbon for serving in war time. Your lost.

Bill Coughlan · Tue, Dec 23rd 2003, at 11:17AM

Ah, the idiots come out to play. And sometimes they make it so easy for me...

The invasion of Iraq didn’t have a thing to do with the war on terrorism. The strategists at the top of the Bush regime have cleverly changed the word “terrorism” to “terror” so they can claim anything is related to the attacks of 9/11, without actually coming out and saying it. “Ooh, Saddam is bad, he inspires ‘terror’... we’re not saying anything, but you can put two and two together.”

As for comparing Saddam Hussein with Hitler, are you out of your fucking mind? It didn’t work ten years ago, when Saddam Hussein actually invaded another country; what makes you think it’s any more valid now? Let me spell it out, so even a mental midget like yourself can understand: Saddam’s Iraq posed no legitimate threat to the United States. In case you haven’t been following current events, he didn’t have the so-called “weapons of mass destruction” your overlord used to justify our invasion. To imply that he was a threat to “millions” is rank stupidity. Now, let’s see, who has invaded a foreign nation over the objections of pretty much the whole world, and actually does pose a threat to millions...?

The DoD’s decision to group both the Afghanistan campaign and the Iraq invasions under the single “Global War On Terrorism” medal is political posturing at its worst.

I don’t know where you got the idea that Clinton was my hero. I’ve certainly never written that, or at least not that I can remember.

Oh, and their “failing religion”? I thought this wasn’t a war against Islam. After all, that’s what Duh-bya said, right around the time he called it a “crusade.” I guess that at least as far as you’re concerned, he was wrong.

Sometimes these things just write themselves.

Troy · Tue, Dec 23rd 2003, at 11:43AM

If you can't see the lines between Hitler, Saddam and Milosovich let me draw them a little clearer for you. Since you don't see Saddam as a threat to millions. First the small potatoes that your crony Clinton went after with air strikes. Was it one or two mass graves found, and used for justification for war at 10 thousand feet? Remember the term "ethnic cleansing"? OK that is dot one, next you have Hitler and a thing called the holocaust. See, since you seem to have forgotten, he was trying to wipe out everyone he did not find to be among the superior race, along with some other goals. Ok once again we have mass graves, and "ethnic cleansing". I say again, if Europe would have done a pre-emptive strike, lives would have been saved. The same argument that you are making now (saddam was not a threat to us) was used during that period before WWII as a reason to not go after Hitler, and for the US to remain neutral. And for the third dot, Saddam. He has killed and tortured more than we have been able to recover. Men Women and Children. He had a jail for children! Yet you want to defend him because we have not found any WMD's. Please don't let your hatred for Bush blind you to the suffering of these people. Did Saddam not use WMD's on the Kurds for our third batch of "ethnic cleansing"? I will agree that the WMD's have turned out to be a bad choice to argue for this war. It is my opinion that he should have used the "ethnic cleansing" argument. I will point out that Clinton did indeed state that Bush was justified to go to war over the WMD's. And why do you call me a "mental midget" when I don't reduce myself to the level of name calling and vulgarity as you did? Or maybe I just touched a nerve and you could not help it?

Bill Coughlan · Tue, Dec 23rd 2003, at 12:16PM

You’re right. I shouldn’t have called you a “mental midget.” It might be considered offensive to little people.

Saddam Hussein was evil. We have no argument there. Taking him out was a noble goal, as I stated just last week. And at no point have I ever defended Saddam Hussein. Your accusation to that effect reminds me of the GOP ad questioning the patriotism of anyone who criticized Bush’s handling of the Iraqi invasion — Disagree with me? You must be a traitor!

But here’s the kicker, the point you seem all too ready to gloss over: Duh-bya didn’t use the “ethnic cleansing” argument — which had the benefit of actually being true — to go after Saddam. He did use the “weapons of mass destruction” argument — a lie — to convince the American people to go to war. He told us that Saddam and al Qaeda were connected — another lie. Slobodan Milosevic’s atrocities had the added danger of destabilizing Europe, unlike Saddam Hussein’s. But if, as you say (and frankly, I don’t argue), the “ethnic cleansing” argument was sufficient to justify war (even if not right now, while we were embroiled in an anti-terrorism conflict), then little George had an obligation to use that argument. Frankly, if he had, he might have convinced the rest of the world that the United States actually was in the right, as opposed to being a bully determined to pursue its own interests at the expense of world security.

Oh, and I like that — despite my only having referred to him twice (and really only in passing) in the history of my weblog — you think Clinton was my “crony.” I never imagined that folks would think we were personal buddies (and apparently had been for some time now), but it’s nice to hear.

Troy · Tue, Dec 23rd 2003, at 1:03PM

So you didn't vote for Clinton? And the point you say I "gloss over" is in fact a point I made so how is that glossing over it if I brought it up in the first place? Furthermore I'm not offended by the "mental midget" comment. It does not take a GED to call people names. I was looking for intelligent conversation and was disappointed by your response that contained such simpleton dialect. My final note is this, I don't always agree with how Bush handles things, I truly wish he had some public speaking skills. What I do believe in is his moral values. And whether he argued about mass graves or mass destruction, you said it best when you called it a "noble cause". So the ends justifies the means and millions of people are safer the world over because of it. I am finished with you, and your ego for now. Good day sir.

Bill Coughlan · Tue, Dec 23rd 2003, at 1:19PM

Oh, the “crony” comment was just flagrant mocking of your obvious idiocy. No, I suppose it doesn’t take a GED — as you’ve so aptly demonstrated.

If you call the deaths of hundreds of American soldiers based on a lie “moral values,” then your definition of “morality” leaves quite a bit to be desired.

Then again, since you didn’t know the definition of “crony” (a relatively simple word I recall mastering somewhere in junior high school), I wouldn’t be surprised if you were similarly lacking in your understanding of the word “moral.”

Jeff 1971 · Wed, Dec 24th 2003, at 5:42PM

Troy, North Korea admitted to a nuclear program in October 2002, nearly half a year before the Iraqi invasion. Do you really believe it was about weapons of mass destruction? North Korea is working on them. China has them. So does Russia. So why Iraq?

Maybe it's about rescuing people from an evil government. Approximately how many people do you think have died as a result of the war in The Democratic Republic of Congo? "War? Congo?", you're probably saying to yourself right now. Yep! Believe it or not, despite it not being hyped in the media, stuff actually happens elsewhere in the world. Anyway, the answer is 3.5 million have died. So why save the Iraqi people?

Do you know who Felicien Kabuga, Augustin Bizimana, Idelphonse Hategekimana, Augustin Ngirabatware, Idelphonse Nizeyimana, Protais Mpiranya, Callixte Nzabonimana, Yusuf John Munyakazi, Ryandikayo, Charles Sikubwabo, Aloys Ndimbati are? Don't feel bad because neither did I. I stumbled across the list while looking for information about the genocide in Rwanda. They're wanted fugitives for war crimes - crimes against humanity. Try to guess how many died in Rwanda within a 100 day period in 1994. Answer: 800,000. So why Saddam Hussein?

The ends justify the means? I guess that makes it okay to rob a bank as long as you give the money to the poor. Right? It's okay for the police to break into someone's house without a warrant as long as they find something illegal. Right? I could go on forever with scenarios, but hopefully you get the point.

Keep thinking about that question: Why Iraq?

Bill Coughlan · Wed, Dec 24th 2003, at 9:31PM

Actually, the “end justifies the means” analogy I was going to use was that if you’ve got an ant problem, you should go ahead and burn down your house. After all, that would mean no more ant problem, right?

Pretty much what the Bush regime has done here. But frankly, Jeff, I think your response was much better.

Troy · Sun, Dec 28th 2003, at 10:20AM

Jeff,

You have brought up some very interesting points. First Rwanda 1994. Who was president? Clinton went after targets in the former Yugoslavia because they were hard targets. Meaning easily identified. Tanks, troop positions etc. Clinton learned a lesson in Somalia about going after unconventional enemies. Rwanda was not a conventional problem. North Korea, I agree is an enemy and if you have read any of the stories coming out of there the atrocities against humanity are staggering. I believe we need to take them out as well, however, it won't be as easy as Iraq. The NK army is huge, and well trained. They would not wait for us to build up our military in SK like Saddam did. They would attack first. Seoul would be captured. In Iraq we have lost less people then we did on Sept 11th. In a war on the Korean peninsula, it would be a huge tragedy and the loss of life would be huge. To a lesser point, the US has less of an interest in NK. I don't feel that your mention of Russia is valid. They are not a terrorist state. Neither is China, though I do feel they are a threat as well. If Europe is looking for another super power to offset the US look no further than China. So by toppling Saddam we have hopefully started the first domino and a chain reaction that will bring more stability and democracy to that region of the world. Jeff you really have impressed me with your statements. Therefore I invite you to more debate. I also frequent starktruth.com you may duel me there as well. Another point that should be made here is Rwanda is yet another problem that has to due with Muslims. And the Fall of Saddam will open doors to Christianity, a far more peaceful religion, also as stated democracy, a far more stable form of Gov.

Bill Coughlan · Fri, Jan 2nd 2004, at 12:25PM

Democracy has no more claim to “stability” than does autocracy. Saddam Hussein’s regime was hardly unstable. A democracy (or, to be more accurate, a constitutional republic) may be more desirable, but that doesn’t make it stable. In fact, given the extremist factions in the region — both governmental and independent — maintaining a democracy will prove far more difficult than keeping a dictator in power.

To be honest, what the neoconservative crusade wants is instability in the region, i.e., the toppling of autocratic governments and the installation of so-called democratic ones. Should they succeed (and given their staggering success in Iraq so far, I ain’t holding my breath), a collection of “democratic” nations may prove more advantageous to American interests, but not inherently more stable.

And Christianity’s a “far more peaceful religion” than Islam? Um, really? Could have fooled me.

Leaving aside the likelihood that Christianity may actually end up more oppressed than under the secular government of Saddam Hussein — if, as is being demanded, the new Iraqi constitution enshrines the supremacy of Islam — Christianity is in no way a more peaceful religion than Islam.

Yes, Islam has extremist adherents who use their religion as an excuse for committing atrocious acts. So does Christianity (in fact, from an historical standpoint, you’d be hard-pressed to find a more brutal religion than Christianity). Yes, certain violent dogmas are enshrined in the texts of the religion — again, same with Christianity. But as the religions are observed by the vast majority of their practitioners, the radical passages are not adhered to.

To claim righteousness on the basis of your religion is exactly the same argument the radical Muslim terrorists use. By doing the same, you lose any moral credibility against the argument; it becomes a “my religion is better than your religion” debate — an argument which cannot be won.

Arrogance like that puts you firmly in the company of nutballs like General Boykin. If you’re comfortable with that, fine, but don’t expect to be taken seriously by anyone else.

Troy · Tue, Jan 6th 2004, at 5:54PM

Ok let me rephrase my point. In the last 100 years, how many wars have been started by Christians. How many Massacres have been committed by Christians? how many Christians have flown planes into buildings? how many Christians have blown up coffee shops? How many Christians have bombed US war ships,? How many Christians have filled in mass graves with fresh bodies? How many Christians went around the DC area on a shooting spree? Now, how many Muslims have built homes for the poor? How many Muslims have sent thousands of dollars to orphans around the world? Next you say that Iraqi's could be more oppressed under Christianity? Driving by the local Christian churches around here I see women who can vote, and dress the way the choose, take the carreers they choose, marry whom they choose. So I don't understand that argument.

Bill Coughlan · Tue, Jan 6th 2004, at 6:40PM

I said Christianity could end up more oppressed. As bad as it was, Saddam’s regime was secular. In terms of putting together an Iraqi constitution, just about everyone involved (with the exception of the Americans) is demanding that the constitution acknowledge the supremacy of Islam. Period.

As for atrocities not being committed by Christians? Are we on the same planet? No, most may not have been in the name of Christianity, but I’d wager more crimes — from local to international — are committed by “Christians” than Muslims.

Let me be clear — I’ve got nothing against Christianity, and I don’t mean to denigrate that religion, by any means. But neither will I sit by while someone claims superiority on the basis of adhering to that belief system.

And you would appear to be completely ignorant of the numerous Muslim charity organizations (legitimate organizations — they’re not all terrorism fronts) both in this nation and around the world. Or perhaps you just choose to ignore their accomplishments. Why is that?

Jeff Stark · Tue, Jan 6th 2004, at 11:00PM

Yeah, the same Muslim charity organizations and religous leaders that will not denounce the acts of the Wahabist nut jobs that kill thousands every year, in the name of Allah!

I know, you don't want me here, I leave now with one last word.

Whew! The Video’s Finally Done, and I Have a New Target for My Ire

Friday night saw the premiere of the video project I’ve been slaving away on for the past couple of weeks. Overall, I’d say the reception was very positive, but there were a few notable problems. Most significantly, there were no microphones for the live-action portions of the show (except for the emcees) — which means that as far as the rapidly-becoming-intoxicated “audience members” to the rear of the room were concerned, the mock “commercial breaks” were real breaks. See, the whole theme was “The Academy Awards,” with live-performance commercials performed between awards presentations; for my part, we had produced no fewer than nineteen short “film clips,” not to mention producing audio content, graphic animation, and DVD and CD mastering. but when the live part started, the chatter level rose to the point where the skits were completely inaudible to anyone.

Added to the problems were the size of the group, and the resultant decision to make the event standing-room-only; no chairs anywhere. And since the “stage” area wasn’t elevated, if you weren’t right in front, you couldn’t see anything either. Once you realize that most of the folks can neither see nor hear the event, it’s no wonder that they kept talking — it is a party.

Of course, the whole “no chairs” thing led to something that almost ruined the evening for me. A couple of people — my boss included — were physically incapable of standing for the whole event. There were a couple of armchairs just outside the main room, but they wouldn’t be able to see the show. And in the case of my boss, anyway, that was the main reason she’d come at all. She asked me if I’d be able to scrounge up a couple of unobtrusive chairs that we could put off to the side of the main room. Easy enough, right? You’d think.

And then I ran into a pissant little big-fish-in-a-little-pond asshole who screamed at me that there would be no chairs whatsoever permitted in the main room. His original contract for setting up the event had specified no chairs, and there would be no exceptions short or rewriting the contract. When I explained the situation, he suggested wheelchairs. Awkward, but fair enough. When I asked him if they had wheelchairs, he said yes, but again, they’d have to alter the contract to allow them.

One thing I did discover after dealing with Palm, Dish Network, and AT&T Wireless, not to mention a year’s worth of ranting here (topped off with two weeks of hanging around with marketers): I’ve become much more adept at playing “bad cop” than I ever was at being a nice guy. Even as recently as a year ago, I probably would have just acquiesced to this boor’s arrogant attitude, but now, I felt no hesitation in letting this petty tyrant know that his actions would be remembered. And so they are.

If you — or anyone you know — is ever considering hosting an event at the Hotel Monaco, cancel it. Run like hell and never look back. The place ain’t all that, and with an expectation of this level of disservice, they sure as hell don’t deserve your money. I may not be the final decision-maker as to where we will host next year’s party, but I sure as hell have the ear of the folks who are.

Incidentally, once we were through with this self-important son of a bitch (my boss can get pretty damned assertive herself), they put out not only the two chairs we requested, but six. And the guy was all apologies. Too little, too late, jerkwad. I’ll be sure your bosses are also made aware of the evening’s events. Once I’m through with you, you won’t be able to get a job scrubbing toilets for that hotel.

The moral of the story? Don’t fuck with me. I bite.

12.18.2003

Just Because Bush Is Always Wrong Doesn’t Mean the French Are Always Right

First, I want to call your attention to a fantastic column by Harold Meyerson in yesterday’s Post. Entitled “The Grounds for Celebration,” it does a wonderful job of articulating something that too many antiwar protesters tend to gloss over: The removal of Saddam Hussein was a noble goal — there, I said it. But there are an infinite number of “noble goals” in the world, and just because something is a worthy goal doesn’t automatically mean it should be undertaken. In this case, the Bush regime never stopped to consider the consequences of the war — the likely irreparable damage to our international standing, the establishment of a precedent for war-because-we-feel-like-it, and, most significantly, acceptance of the idea that a president can come right out and lie to the American people in order to start a war. I suppose that’s easier to do when you honestly believe that God himself has spoken to you and given you a divine mission. The rest of us call that “crazy.” In any case, the article’s far more detailed and enlightening than my little rant here. Go read it.

Okay, now that that’s out of the way, I’ve got something else to bring up. Apparently, not only does Jacques Chirac have no spine, but he’s apparently also a religious bigot. Tough words, coming from me, particularly since I’ve veered awfully close to that line on more than one occasion. But his recent announcement — that he’s going to push for an outright ban on any substantive symbols of religious faith in public schools — is religious discrimination at its worst. The law (and it’s not official yet, although similar yet less harsh ones are currently on the books in France) is designed for one purpose and one purpose only: To make life so uncomfortable for Muslims that they’ll leave France. France has a long history of strict separation of church and state. Okay, that’s a good thing; I’m all for that. But where this proposal goes off the deep end is in barring not only proselytizing (which I can understand) but also the wearing of large crosses, Jewish skullcaps, and — here’s the kicker — headscarves. And that’s what this is all about. The Christian majority is uncomfortable with the influx of Muslims over the past few decades, and they want something done about it. Sure, this law will inconvenience a few Christians, and irritate some Jews, but it’ll really hit the Muslims. I put this question to the French: Okay, you’ve got problems with the Islamic religion. So tolerance for differences ain’t your strong suit, but we can live with that. But in what possible way is some other student wearing a headscarf adversely affecting your kid? And Chirac wants to go ever further, saying not only that such attire will be prohibited in public schools, but that private companies can also begin barring it as well.

There is some sense in portions of the proposed law. For example, the elimination of the right to have female (usually Muslim) patients be seen exclusively by female doctors at public hospitals. Given the scarcity of resources in public health care, I can see that one. I don’t think hospitals should be required to make such a concession when it proves unreasonably difficult or infringes on the care provided to other patients. Still, as a basic courtesy, it should be permitted on a case-by-case basis if resources allow.

I’m certainly not a religious person, by any stretch of the imagination. I don’t consider myself an atheist for the very same reason I don’t ascribe to any particular religious sect — the very nature of religion precludes its evaluation by rational, scientific means. There’s no way to objectively prove the validity of any religion (ask Douglas Adams about that). The argument is logically meaningless, and for me, not worth consideration: It’s not a rational issue — it’s a deeply personal one. State-sponsored atheism is equally as pointless as state-sponsored religion. Religion, for many (if not most) people, is a deeply ingrained part of their lives. No law is going to change that by simply saying it, particularly in a society where we’ve removed religious authority from our governmental leaders (a message little George apparently hasn’t gotten).

Whew! Okay, after that, I need a little good news... and what do you know, here it is! A federal appeals court has just delivered a big F-U to John Ashcroft and his goose-stepping legions at the Ministry of Justice (not to mention the rest of the Duh-bya regime). Got news for you, assholes — we’ve got this document called the Constitution, and it explicitly prohibits the secret incarceration of U.S. citizens. You’ve got 30 days to transfer Jose Padilla to the public criminal justice system... or release him. I ain’t saying Padilla’s a model citizen — hell, he may even have done what you say he did — but you’re not gonna be able to pull your “national security” blanket over everyone’s eyes and hold him forever on just your say-so.

Which brings me back to Meyerson’s column. Probably my favorite line in his piece was his iteration of the things that would make the United States more secure than the capture of Saddam Hussein.

Last on his list is “if John Ashcroft stepped down as attorney general.” Hear, hear.

12.17.2003

One High-Flying Milestone

Actually, that’s a bit of a mixed metaphor — I don’t know that a milestone soaring through the air would really be a good thing. After all, a big hunk of stone’s gotta come down somewhere.

Whatever. Today marks the 100th anniversary of the Wright brothers’ flight at Kitty Hawk. And since at least a nominal purpose of this weblog is to discuss gadgetry, I felt it appropriate to mark the launch of one of the all-time greatest gadgets ever invented: the airplane.

Let’s just hope Duh-bya doesn’t screw it all up by inaugurating his asinine moon launch program. (“Hey, what did that there Kennedy feller do to git all them people to like ’im? What? You mean we landed on the moon? When? Hot damn, I gotta git me some of that action.”) Hey, I’m all for expanding our reach into space, but let’s actually do something halfway smart, like developing the International Space Station into something usable — as was originally planned before the project got scaled back to the point where it serves little more than a symbolic purpose.

Maybe They Were Right After All

One of the criticisms we heard leveled against Europe during the run-up to the Iraqi invasion was that they were cowardly, lacking the spine to stand up and do the right thing. At the time, I figured it was just bluster, the typical tantrum that the Duh-bya regime throws when it doesn’t get its way. After all, they couldn’t conceive of the possibility that their “evidence” was in any way flawed...

Now, however, I’m beginning to think they may have been onto something. France and Germany just agreed to forgive and/or restructure a substantial portion of Iraq’s debt, in exchange for... nothing. No revision of the order to bar them from bidding on contracts, no greater role in Iraq’s reconstruction, nothing. Dominique de Villepin may be saying elsewhere that debt forgiveness is dependent on independent Iraqi governance, but as far as we know, that ain’t what Chirac agreed to. And apparently, all Schroeder managed to do was make sure German concerns over the contracts issue was “clearly expressed.” The spin is that France and Germany want to start repairing relations with the United States; have they learned nothing from seeing this administration in action over the past few years? Bush’s cronies will gladly take whatever you offer, and then screw you — that’s what they do. It’s why the Democratic party is in such piss-poor shape: They keep trying to offer a “bipartisan” olive branch, and the Republican hobgoblins take their concessions and offer nothing in return.

Yes, I know that a stable Iraq is in Europe’s own best long-term interests. But hello! You’ve actually got something to use as leverage against the neofascist machine, and you collapse altogether. Say what you will about the Russians, but you sure as hell don’t see them rolling over like this.

Looks like we’ll have to stop little George all on our own.

Dean for AmericaIn other news, my “Dean for America” bumper sticker managed to piss of some baseball-capped yokel in his pickup this morning. He’s screaming out his window, waving a newspaper — USA Today, the newspaper of true intellectuals. I naturally offered a one-fingered salute in return, all the while entertaining fantasies that he’d stop, get out of his truck, and enter into a physical confrontation. After all, I had his license plate number; it’d have been worth physical injury to know that I could have put a room-temperature IQ like this in jail for the holidays. And if the timing worked out right, he might be serving his final sentence around election time.

You know, I think I may have hit on a strategy here...

12.16.2003

May I Have a Drumroll, Please?

Well, better late than never, right? It certainly took me long enough — pesky real life getting in the way — but at long last, here is my annual Christmas compilation CD. This time around I’ve jammed the list to the absolute limit of an 80-minute CD (in fact, you may have to trim some of the dead space frequently found at the end of some songs). The upside is that this year’s offering is chock-full of wholesome Christmasy goodness.

(Note: Apple has apparently changed their iTunes linking system. I’m not sure if it’ll work or not — I’ve had trouble myself — but give it a try and let me know how you fare.)

A Rather Eclectic Christmas 3
  1. O Holy Night, by Eric Cartman (yes, that Eric Cartman)
  2. Christmas Is Coming, by the Vince Guaraldi Trio
  3. Feliz Navidad, by José Feliciano (one of my older daughter’s favorites, and the catalyst for this year’s selection)
  4. Green Christmas, by Barenaked Ladies
  5. (Everybody’s Waitin’ For) The Man With the Bag, by Kay Starr
  6. Baby, It’s Cold Outside, by Dean Martin
  7. Silent Night, by Boyz II Men
  8. Somewhere In My Memory (from Home Alone), by John Williams (I trimmed the album version of this track to cut the introductory “movie” theme)
  9. Joy to the World, by Whitney Houston and the Georgia Mass Choir
  10. What Are You Doing New Year’s Eve? by Ella Fitzgerald
  11. Soulful Christmas, by James Brown
  12. Deck the Halls/Bring a Torch, Jeannette, Isabella, by Smokey Robinson and the Miracles
  13. Do You Hear What I Hear? by Destiny’s Child featuring Kelly Rowland
  14. My Only Wish (This Year), by Britney Spears (I know, it’s the very cheesy pop I’ve railed against before, but it’s kind of catchy)
  15. Christmas (Baby Please Come Home), by Mariah Carey (also a little “poppy” for my usual tastes, but for some reason this one sticks out in my head from a few holiday seasons back)
  16. This Time Of Year, by Brook Benton
  17. Cool Yule, by Louis Armstrong and the Commanders
  18. Mele Kalikimaka, by Bing Crosby and the Andrews Sisters
  19. The Nutcracker Suite, by the Brian Setzer Orchestra
  20. Angels We Have Heard on High, by David Benoit
  21. Christmas Canon, by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra
  22. The Chanukah Song, by Adam Sandler (half of Pam’s family is Jewish, so we get to celebrate both traditions)
  23. Please Come Home for Christmas, by the Eagles
  24. We Wish You A Merry Christmas, by John Denver and the Muppets
So there you have it — hope it was worth the wait. Happy holidays, everyone!

Okay, Now I Can’t Just Shut Up and Work

Granted, I’m working on very little sleep right now, so my emotional state is certainly suspect; take that for what it’s worth. But today, I read a Letter to the Editor in the Post that got me positively incensed. And since my work machine is busy recapturing a half-hour of video footage from the original tapes (for some reason the footage was originally captured to a backup disk, which was purged when the last backup occurred — no critical loss, just time), I’ve got to say something.

Okay, first some background. In his column yesterday, George Will opined that Saddam Hussein should be tried by the Iraqis, not an international tribunal. He cites several reasons — some valid, some bordering on insipid — but the crux of his argument is sound: the crimes of Saddam Hussein were against Iraqis, not humanity at large; the Iraqis should try him. Fair enough.

But today, S.G. Brennan of Long Beach, California, sticks his “me, too” thoughts into the mix (okay, maybe that’s not so bad in and of itself — it is sort of my MO here). Brennan, however, uses the reasoning that if Saddam were allowed an international trial, he might have the opportunity to — gasp — actually call witnesses to his defense. Those witnesses could potentially include current and former leaders of the very nations that put Saddam into power in the first place, not to mention providing material support throughout his reign. And, you know, that might make things a little... uncomfortable for us. We’ve got our scapegoat, let’s not waste time dredging up the sordid pasts of those who may have been complicit in orchestrating his domination. As the letter says, “These leaders might reveal the details of how the West aided this tyrant, and when such information made its way back to the Iraqis, a bad situation would be made worse.”

According to Brennan, in the “U.S.-controlled courts” of Iraq, we could effectively rig the outcome, something that might be just a bit tougher in the international arena. I’ve got news for you, buddy: no matter how guilty you may believe him to be, if the accused isn’t allowed to present a defense, it ain’t a trial. It’s a charade. And the internationally community both you and Will so obviously disdain — not to mention the resistance forces currently fighting the American occupation in Iraq — would see it as exactly that.

Saddam was a brutal dictator — and the available evidence (unlike the manufactured “evidence” justifying the war) provides a rock-solid case against him, regardless of whatever witnesses he may call. He must be held accountable for his crimes, but we — and the Iraqis — deserve to see that accountability established in a legitimate trial, one that won’t invite a rash of second-guessing. If we undermine that goal to spare exposure of “the sins of a few political leaders” — a defense Saddam could just as easily claim for himself — we shred whatever credibility to which we may still cling.

12.15.2003

Oh, and Stay Tuned...

I’ve finished up A Rather Eclectic Christmas 3. When I get a chance, I’ll go ahead and post the track listing. But right now, that’s way too much typing.

Do Not Adjust Your Set

I’m still here — I just don’t have time to say much of anything. I know, I know, I should say something about this whole Saddam capture thing, but I’m absolutely swamped at the office right now. I barely slept at all this weekend, and the rest of the week ain’t looking too good either.

Okay, one thought. I don’t know why folks are lamenting the capture of a brutal dictator. No, the war wasn’t even remotely justified, but this particular event is probably a net positive. Nor do I see this as being any great benefit to Duh-bya, at least not in the long run. Sure, our troops caught Saddam (note that I’m careful to avoid any implication that little George caught Saddam — his goons may be quick to make that comment, but he didn’t catch shit). In the end, monkey-boy’s still just as big a scumbag as he was last week. Capturing Saddam doesn’t change a goddamn thing. He still ordered hundreds of Americans to their deaths over a lie.

In a year’s time, when we’re still stuck in the Iraqi quagmire, let’s see if anyone gives a damn about the capture of a guy who wasn’t a threat to us in the first place.

12.10.2003

The Next Stage in Wolfowitz’s World-Domination Scheme

WolfowitzSo let me get this straight. Über-imperialist Paul Wolfowitz is going to limit Iraqi reconstruction to countries who supported Duh-bya in his illegal invasion of Iraq, “for the protection of the essential security interests of the United States.” Please. This has nothing to do with nebulous “security interests”; it’s all about two things: retaliation and raw greed. I was going to make a comment of my own, but frankly I haven’t got anything to top John Kerry: “I can't think of anything dumber or more insulting or more inviting to the disdain of countries and potential failure of our policy.” Or maybe Joe Biden, who called the policy a “totally gratuitous slap” that “does nothing to protect our security interests and everything to alienate countries we need with us in Iraq.” Or GW Law School professor Steven Schooner: “This kind of decision just begs for retaliation and a tit-for-tat response from countries [such as Germany, France and Russia].”

But alas, Wolfowitz’s megalomania won’t allow for the possibility of being wrong. Or of the very existence of a differing worldview. Or of giving the rest of the world any consideration whatsoever. According to him, “Limiting competition for prime contracts will encourage the expansion of international cooperation in Iraq and in future efforts.” Um, exactly how is pissing off our allies going to encourage cooperation? I suppose it doesn’t matter when you’ve got a divine mandate to take over the world. It’s all just insignificant detail.

This guy’s done more damage to world security than Saddam Hussein could ever have dreamed of.

12.09.2003

And the Campaign Rolls On

Dean for AmericaHot damn. Al Gore just endorsed Howard Dean for President. Lieberman — whatever his public comments might be — has got to be pissed. Especially since he doesn’t seem to be generating enough support to warrant a second shot at a vice-presidential ticket position.

I’m starting to reverse myself in my analysis. Back in October, I said that a Wesley Clark VP shot wouldn’t benefit the Dean campaign all that much. Now, though, with Clark still generating a lot of buzz, that may not be the case. Sure, he doesn’t have the geographic base the other candidates can deliver, but he’s got a good chance of combating the usual G.O.P. tactic of obscuring real issues by appealing to patriotic abstracts. Bush may be able to slam Dean for his lack of military service (though Bush’s own military “service” was a joke), but Clark offers no such vulnerability.

The plot thickens.

12.08.2003

Wow, the Government Really Hates that First Amendment

First, a quick personal update. remember how I said our four-year-old had been spared the ravages of this monster illness? Well, I was wrong — it hit her, and hard. She’s been fevered, coughing, and vomiting — which the rest of us managed to avoid — for the past several days. We ended up missing the company holiday party for the first time in my overly extended tenure here. The rest of us are improving, although I’ve gone from staggering as a result of fevered dizziness to staggering thanks to a twisted knee. For some reason, it’s taken a week to hit me, but I jammed it last weekend while clearing some overgrown trees for my mother-in-law over Thanksgiving. Man, I’m just falling apart here — a realization that becomes all the more apparent as I approach a milestone birthday later this month...

Well, enough of that — you’re not here to listen to me whine. You’re here to listen to me rant. So let’s see, where to start...

Well, it would appear that my assessment of AT&T Wireless was right on the money, at least according to a recent Post story. It seems that AT&T is giving folks a disproportionate amount of difficulty in changing phone services while retaining their cell numbers. It’s gotten so bad that the FCC may be forced to take action. It’s also worth noting that, along with Cingular Wireless, AT&T is one of the two companies losing the most customers since the number portability rules went into effect. Hmm... not too much to add here — particularly since I haven’t resolved my own little saga yet. What else have we got in the hopper?

Ah, here we go. On the heels of last week’s attempt to stifle free speech, we’ve got another one, equally ridiculous. It would appear that the Secret Service has figured out the newest threat to “homeland security”: Eminem. According to their assessment, he’s a “credible threat” to the “president,” as evidenced by a lyric in his yet-unreleased song, “We Are American”: “Fuck money, I don’t rap for dead presidents. I’d rather see the president dead.” Hey, forget Osama bin Laden or Saddam Hussein — remember, the biggest threat to our security is citizens who dare to speak their minds. (In all fairness, the Republicans don’t have a monopoly on First-Amendment suppression, as today’s Post profile of Joe Lieberman will attest.)

ConstitutionI’m no lawyer, but I at least have a working understanding of the limits of free speech, and this doesn’t even come close to crossing them. In order for a statement to be considered beyond First Amendment protection, it must be directly inciting illegal activity; for example, actually telling someone to kill the president. Simply saying he’d rather see the president dead is perfectly legitimate. Hell, should Duh-bya shuffle off the mortal coil, the only tear I’d shed would be in recognizing that Dick Cheney would be occupying the presidency — in name as well as in fact (I always thought those Munchkins were a little too quick to celebrate the demise of the Wicked Witch of the East). Hey, Secret Service — can I get on that “threat” list now? I could sure use the publicity.

I’d argue that the “founding fathers” actually meant to protect speech advocating political change by violent means — after all, that’s what they had just done a decade earlier. However, legal precedent has established that protection vanishes once you venture from abstract discussion to the commencement of concrete action. Fair enough — that’s probably a pretty wise line to draw. But Eminem’s lyric ain’t even close. Going after an entertainer like Eminem just serves to demonstrate who the real target of the Bush regime’s post-September 11 action is: the American citizenry. I wonder how many incidents like this it’ll take before people wake up to that fact. (I find it telling that, in the New York Post coverage of the story, they mention a survey in which kids found Eminem’s lyrics more credible than Duh-bya’s speeches. I ain’t saying Eminem’s a standard of truth, but duh — anything’s more believable than one of little George’s speeches.)

Which reminds me — I had a bit of a revelation over the weekend. I’ve been kicking myself trying to figure out how on Earth Shrub could keep inspiring so much support, despite irrefutable evidence that he’s done nothing but use his position to lie to, cheat on, and steal from the American people. Okay, I’ll write off the self-deluded extremists — nothing could get through to that crowd — but come on. People are not that irredeemably stupid. And then it hit me: Their behavior is perfectly consistent... with that of someone in an abusive relationship. No matter how much abuse they take, they refuse to sever the relationship; their capacity for denial is unprecedented. They keep telling themselves that, as bad as he may be, they’d never find anyone better — and maybe they don’t deserve anyone better. And at the heart of it is an underlying belief that it’s their fault — for electing him in the first place, for believing him when he said he’d fight terrorism, for trusting him when he said he’d make them more “secure.” It genuinely changed my outlook — instead of railing against these people, I should probably try encouraging them, restoring their lost self-esteem. You can find someone better. You deserve someone better. It’s not your fault. I’m here for you.

It’s a gradual process, but I’m not going anywhere. Not for another year, anyway.

12.05.2003

Still Looking for Suggestions

I’m still working on trying to put together the track listing for A Rather Eclectic Christmas 3. I do have a whole slew of songs I’m going through myself, but I really want to make sure that I’m not forgetting any essentials. So please take a look at the track listings for discs 1 and 2, and let me know what I’m missing. I’d like to get this thing finished before Christmas, if at all possible...

12.04.2003

AT&T Wireless Makes My Shit List

AT&T WirelessOne advantage to being sick is that it’s easy to pull off the “cranky customer” routine. Not that it ended up doing me any good, other than to make me realize that AT&T WIRELESS ARE A BUNCH OF INCOMPETENT CROOKS! As I’ve mentioned before, I have been trying for weeks to get my AT&T service upgraded to the new GSM network, along with buying two new Sony Ericsson T616s in the process. I finally get through to somebody who can get the ball rolling, and it seems like everything’s hunky-dory, except for one little glitch — the price of the phones. Because I’m an existing customer, and not a new customer, they’re going to charge me twice as much for the phones as they’re advertising. Still, it’s a discount off of full price (at least that’s their line), and comparing prices with other vendors (not to mention service coverage areas), I’m still coming out ahead. I think. So I give ’em the okay. It’ll take seven days to ship the phones because of an order backlog, but then everything will be all set.

So a week goes by... two weeks... Finally I call and ask what’s going on. Whoops! Looks like they took the order, but didn’t actually process it. They’ll get right on it, but with the Thanksgiving holiday, the phones won’t arrive until the second of December. Keep in mind that in the time since I originally placed my order, “number portability” has become a reality; my bargaining position is certainly better than it was before. But still, I let it slide: I just want the phones.

So today, I call back, and I’m a little less polite than before: “Where the &*%$ are my phones?” might be closer to my attitude (though perhaps not literally). Whoops! Looks like there was a teensy little credit card verification problem last time, and the order didn’t go through. But if we could just get that credit card information from you one more time, we’ll make sure it gets sent out.

Okay, I’ll take more than my share of abuse, but even I have my limits. And this was it. They had a problem with my order, but couldn’t be bothered to call me to straighten it out? Not to mention the fact that the phones are now being advertised as absolutely free to new customers? Sorry. Deal’s off. Canceled altogether. I’m not going to do business with these dipshits.

I even called our corporate sales rep, who basically told me, “Sorry, I can’t do anything about it. Pricing’s set according to a formula. You won’t get new-customer pricing. No matter what.” Hey, fine, with that attitude, don’t be surprised when I start slamming AT&T Wireless all over the Web. I don’t even have to make stuff up — the truth is bad enough.

And incidentally — just as I did with Palm, I’ve also cracked the corporate e-mail system for AT&T Wireless. The executive suite there will soon be getting a rather irate customer complaint...

12.03.2003

If You Can’t Beat ’Em, Shut ’Em Up

Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday dear Prometheus Unleashed
Happy birthday to me


(To be sung to some nondescript original tune, most assuredly not the traditional “Happy Birthday” tune.)

And no, I’m not going to go into any great remembrances of the past year — I’ve decided to just go ahead with business as usual. After all, if you want to know what’s happened across the last twelve months, you can browse through the archives, right? And besides, I’m still too sick to do a whole lot of deep thinking right now (though I think my fever may have finally broken — knock on formica).

U.S. HouseToday I thought I’d mix a fraction of Monday’s irritability with yesterday’s amused mockery. And in today’s Post, there’s a story that just fits the bill: “Lawmaker Incensed About Ad On Metro.” It would appear that Republican (naturally) Representative Ernest Istook freaked out upon seeing (or being told about, more likely) an ad for Change the Climate, a nonprofit group dedicated to the legalization (and taxation) of marijuana. Never mind that this is exactly the type of political speech explicitly protected by the First Amendment. Istook is deliberately trying to quash the voices of dissent — voices that are getting louder every day. As with any social issue, when your position can’t stand up to reasoned debate, it just might be time to reexamine that position.

ConstitutionNever mind that Metro did initially refuse the ad, relenting only when faced with an ACLU-sponsored First Amendment lawsuit — as already happened in Boston. No, Istook wants to punish Metro for actually listening to its own lawyers. He’s introduced legislation to cut Metro funding by $92,500 and bar any transit system that receives federal funds from running ads from any group that promotes marijuana decriminalization. He’d rather Metro — and any other transit systems down the road — spend thousands more defending an utterly indefensible position. I don’t know if the guy’s just seeking personal publicity or he’s an utter moron.

One thing’s for sure: He’s given Change the Climate more free publicity than their ad ever did. And to top it all off, I love the response by Change the Culture founder Joseph White: “Yes, we wanted to stimulate debate, but we didn’t think a nutcase congressman would try to eliminate free speech... If they don’t like what we’re doing, they ought to read the Constitution and get a life.” Well said. (And just in case anyone’s looking for corroboration of Istook’s “nutcase” status, yes, he is one of those folks pushing for the anti-gay marriage Constitutional amendment.)

12.02.2003

What’s In a Name?

Ugh. I am not doing well. I managed to get (maybe) about two-and-a-half hours of sleep last night, and today I feel worse than ever. I’d figure it’s the flu, if it weren’t for the lack of any stomach upset (though I’ve eaten no more than a bowl of soup today). I can’t even watch a good movie, thanks to this relentlessly distraction-inducing throbbing behind my eyeballs.

Adam’s handling things at the office for now, but at this rate, I have no idea when I’ll make it back in (at the very least, tomorrow is not looking good). As our first hard-and-fast deadline approaches (the video has to be shown on the eleventh), I’m getting more and more concerned — especially since the clients are easily two weeks behind schedule. I keep checking in at the office only to hear a slew of messages about the “meeting crunch,” cringing every time I realize that (on paper, anyway) I’m even more pressed for time than they; we don’t even have a basic client footage-capture list. I’ve made what arrangements I can to get Adam some help, but since Ginny’s out sick as well, we don’t have a whole lot of options.

And as if it weren’t enough that Pam and I are staggering around like extras from Night of the Living Dead, last night we had a blackout to deal with. When we were finally able to get a human being at Dominion Virginia Power (we’re smart enough to have at least one phone that doesn’t require external power), they said it’d be at least a couple of hours before they had it restored. You know, things that are usually just minor inconveniences become serious annoyances when you’re one of the walking wounded.

I thought I’d be able to keep up the whole “cranky” thing in my writing, but right now I just want to crawl into a corner. E.J. Dionne has a good column in today’s Post entitled “The Politics of Payoff,” but I’m too wiped out to do anything more than recommend it for your perusal. And since yesterday’s rant didn’t do anything to alleviate my headache (or the fever, incessant coughing, congestion, etc.), I thought I’d try for something a bit lighter. You know, the whole “laughter is the best medicine” philosophy. Which, of course, is a crock — give me antibiotics over laughter any day of the week — but it probably won’t do any harm.

Now, this isn’t particularly timely, but it came up in a conversation this weekend, and since I didn’t comment on it back when I first read about it, I thought it wouldn’t hurt to try now. Do you know what the second most popular name for girls is right now? Madison. Do you know where the name — at least in terms of its use as a girl’s first name — comes from? The Ron Howard-helmed movie Splash.

Remember the scene? Daryl Hannah and Tom Hanks are walking through New York; her mermaid name being unpronounceable (at least without shattering every picture tube in the vicinity), he mentions that they’ll have to come up with something to call her. He glances up and absently notes that they’re on Madison Avenue, at which points she decides her name will be “Madison.” Hanks promptly laughs at the ludicrousness of the name, but in the face of her insistence, he decides it’s not worth arguing about; the name sticks. Gene Weingarten pointed this fact out in his “Below the Beltwaycolumn of September 21st. Yes, it’s a humor column, not exactly prime research material, but his explanation makes sense. And since in my condition I’m too worn out to do any actual research, I’m gonna stick with it.

Of course, since Splash came out in 1984, you don’t see any women born before that named Madison. Which is why I couldn’t help but laugh when they dubbed Demi Moore’s character in Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle “Madison.” Um, Demi looks great and all, but there’s no way in hell she’s only nineteen. (I don’t honestly think they meant for us to believe she was; the writers just weren’t doing their homework.) Granted, from what I have seen, the name of a character was the least of that movie’s problems (I never actually watched it, having seriously disliked the first film).

Sure, names come into and out of style. Legitimate but unconventional names with strong cultural origins are cropping up all the time; there’s nothing wrong with tapping into your own culture’s traditions to name your children (although a recent study has shown that — as much as we may wish otherwise — you won’t be doing them any favors come job-hunting time). And I’ve got nothing against girls named Madison themselves — one of my daughter’s friends bears that moniker. As a rule, kids don’t get to pick their own names. But I still can’t help but laugh at the rash of completely made-up names we’re seeing more and more frequently (remember “SanDeE*” from L.A. Story?). And when you can pinpoint the silliness of a name’s origin this specifically, it’s all the more ridiculous.

As an amusing footnote to the story, an angry Letter to the Editor (alas, no longer available on-line) appeared in the November 9 issue of The Washington Post Magazine, in which Weingarten’s column appears. The writer, Ronald E. Narmi of Alexandria, rails against Weingarten, saying, “Doesn’t he know that we have had famous Madisons, including Dolley Madison and her husband.” When someone so obviously misses the entire point like this, it just adds to that ridiculousness factor. Kind of like a little comedic encore.

All right, I’m going back to bed to stare at the ceiling in yet another futile attempt to fall asleep. Wish me luck.

12.01.2003

Clarifying an Earlier Assessment

ConstitutionOne thing that’s thrown into sharp relief after a reading of a book like Al Franken’s wonderful Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right is the fact that there’s a dearth of left-wing commentators who can get as fired up as their right-wing counterparts. And it is harder to get folks irate about true injustice than to make up fake injustice. After all, with fiction, there’s no limit to what you can do. With that in mind, I’m going to do my part to fill that void, even if only by a little bit. I may not have a fraction of the audience of the conservative blowhards, but this pounding headache is giving me more than my fair share of self-righteous indignation.

A while back, I implied that those pushing to legislatively — even Constitutionally — bar same-sex unions were, and I quote, “nut jobs.” I was called on it, and in retrospect, it was probably an overly harsh generalization; by no means is everyone who merely opposes same-sex unions a “nut job.” I stand by my contention that there is no rational argument in favor of such a ban, and that those who make such arguments do so strictly on an irrational basis (and yes, the word “irrational” carries a connotation that I fully intend). But there is a world of difference between opposing something and making it illegal at the expense of others.

This is not to say that our system of law carries no influence from our “irrational” history. Much of what we have passed (and continue to pass) into law is without objective, rational origin. But over time, we have gradually moved to eliminate such subjective law, particularly on a Constitutional basis. Our collective values may have religious basis, but we are gradually recognizing those areas in which that basis is applicable only to a particular religious group (or set of groups), and not to an allegedly “free” society at large. I would argue that today, the lack of rational basis for our law is less insidious than law passed on a rational basis, but a rational basis diametrically opposed to that which is publicized; our stunningly idiotic national drug policy, for example — a set of laws explicitly designed to benefit certain industries at the expense of common sense — and scientific evidence. (To cite more recent examples, we have the illegal invasion of Iraq, the so-called “energy” pork bill, or the “screw-the-elderly” plot.)

With that in mind, I can find little to admire — or even understand — in the positions expounded by those proposing anti-gay marriage laws. Churches, private organizations, and the like are perfectly right to make decisions for themselves; after all, churches are societies dedicated to modeling certain behaviors they regard as “ideal.” To require them to sanctify — or even recognize — behaviors they regard as wrong would be ludicrous; as such, the Episcopal church’s decision to recognize a homosexual bishop is strictly an internal matter — a difficult and contentious issue for them, but not something affecting our legal system at large. As a society, however, we have an obligation not to make the decisions of churches or other affinity groups — or, more accurately, a small subset thereof — a matter of public policy. In other words, a vocal minority of society cannot be permitted to establish policy that unreasonably infringes on the rights of others. Private groups are perfectly free to use other methods of social ostracism to discourage certain behaviors (or, more often, certain people), but I’m just as free to call bigotry exactly what it is.

In an earlier entry, I debunked five of the most common so-called “rational arguments” against gay marriage, showing that each is completely meritless. I’ll take this opportunity to add a sixth: The institution of marriage is inextricably tied to the raising of families. Since homosexual couples are incapable of bearing children — at least in the traditional sense — their union is valueless. I feel bad that I even have to point this out, but since when is marriage synonymous with having children? By this logic, any marriage in which the couple is incapable of bearing children is null and void. Not to mention those couples who simply choose not to have children. Are these unions by definition invalid? If not, then this argument is logically false. On the other hand, if we are to take the position that marriage is a necessary precursor to childbearing, but that childbearing is not required, then bearing children out of wedlock must similarly be outlawed. This second position is equally false. Q.E.D.

Oddly enough, I find myself recommending George Will’s column of this past weekend for a perspective on the futility of such legislation. Will, of course, draws what I believe is the wrong conclusion toward the end, though he is valid in suggesting the direction our society — and, by extension, its legal system — may go should gay marriages (or civil unions, what have you) become legally accepted. He rightly points out that we may see a push toward legal recognition of certain rights for polygamous groups, for example. But whereas he provides this as an explicitly negative consequence, I think he’s off base. Again, short of the increase in bureaucracy resulting from keeping track of such arrangements, there is no rational argument against them. (I’d also encourage you to check out William Raspberry’s column today, in which he makes an interesting — though not convincing, even to him — point that the explicit legalization of gay marriage may be as unnecessary as its explicit prohibition.)

The funny thing about this is that it’s all head-in-the-sand reaction. Gay “unions” already exist. Hell, polygamous relationships exist. If the institution of marriage needs a law — or, hell, a damn Constitutional amendment — to protect it, then I think we’ve got bigger issues to worry about. And the whole distinction between “marriage” and “civil unions” is similarly ridiculous. If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck... I don’t know about you, but I’m calling it a duck. Your church doesn’t want to recognize it? Fine. You don’t even have to call it marriage. But to try to make the rest of us call it by something different just so you can feel comfortable... I never was too keen on “political correctness” — and that’s exactly what this is, only now it’s coming from the other end of the political field. Of course, by the same token, I can’t get as all-fired-up insistent that the legal definition use the word “marriage.” I may think it’s a stupid distinction — and I’ll happily mock those who insist on making it — but if the legal protections afforded a “civil union” are identical to those conferred by “marriage,” I’m willing to leave well enough alone.

Again, not everyone who objects to homosexual marriage is by any means a “nut job.” As much as I’d wish otherwise, mankind is all too rarely a rational being, so all the rational argument in the world isn’t going to win everyone over; we’ve been working on it since the time of Socrates, and we still keep hitting a wall. In the end, I think we’ll do better with gradual persuasion than dogmatic insistence. But those who go so far as to legislate irrationality? They’re getting pretty damned close to that line.

And those working toward a Constitutional amendment? Yeah, nut jobs. Card-carrying lunatics. No apologies. Deal with it. Now, some folks are hard to stick into this category; in today’s Post (and elsewhere), spy-buster Robert Novak covers the dilemma facing little George on this issue, but stops short of supporting the amendment himself (though he certainly implies that he endorses it). Others are far easier to peg. Glenn Stanton of “Focus on the Family”? Nut job. Matt Daniels of the “Alliance for Marriage”? Nut job. Republican (duh) Representative Marilyn Musgrave of Colorado (the aptly nicknamed “hate state”)? Nut job, as are Senators Wayne Allard (also of the hate state), Jeff Sessions (Darwin’s waiting room, Alabama), and Sam Brownback (Kansas... sorry, no semi-witty generalization there; I don’t really have anything against Kansas). Maggie Gallagher of the “Institute for Marriage and Public Policy” and hypocritically dubbed “intellectual flag-bearer” of the movement? Irrational, overtly anti-intellectual nut job. “Chuck” Colson of “Prison Fellowship Ministries”? Serious nut job. The “Arlington Group” folks — including James Dobson of the aforementioned “Focus on the Family,” Gary Bauer of “American Values,” William J. Bennett of “Empower America,” Tony Perkins of the “Family Research Council,” Sandy Rios of “Concerned Women for America,” Paul Weyrich of the “Free Congress Foundation,” and group founder Donald Wildmon of the “American Family Association”? Full-on, raving, drooling, worthy-of-incarceration-at-St.-Elizabeth’s nut jobs. Okay, all those quotation marks may be excessive, but note how they all pick seemingly innocuous, patriotic, family-friendly names for their little cabals? I suppose “Bigots for the Elimination of Civil Rights and Rational Thought” is a little too on-the-nose.

So I may not be helping the case against these idiots by going with such inflammatory, judgmental language instead of more reasoned arguments. But then again, they’ve already proven they’re incapable of rational argument. And sometimes, those advocating a position are so far beyond the realm of respected opinion that I have no choice but to call it like it is. These “nut jobs” are so reprehensible as to be unworthy of reasoned debate; I’d do just as well to argue with the dog crap I’m scraping off the bottom of my boot.

How’s that for fired up?